a daylight dream

A period of rampant observation struck me, as I analysed the different human happenings surround us all. I realised that all jovial, successful moments emerged from pain. All note-worthy experiences have birthed from ones that were chaotic and confusing at first. It seems that this is a universal truth. I can see this truth before me, manifested into the universe. The anticipation and darkness of night is followed by a glimmering sunrise, a birth of a child does not happen unless a mother labours in pain, we all learn and grow from mistakes and truly love when challenged and brought to our weaknesses in honest vulnerability. Pain does inflict our hearts, sometimes searingly. It cowers our potentials for a while and makes us so unsure and unstable yet, it transforms us. It transforms the universe as a whole. It brings about a potential for change and reformation— a threshold on which beauty is able to unfold and take shape. This is so beautiful to consider and to even thin...

  I’m putting on my first socks on the season today. I had expected the cold to arrive rather earlier and knock on the door faintly before flooding in, but it’s alright. It had been welcome for many years now, without the fear or the anxiety that comes dreadfully used to come along with it. I simply want to reiterate how it feels to see life become a mirror of the weirdest and most bizarre notions that have stuck to my side since the very beginning. I’ve always had nudges towards certain philosophies to stand by and respect, despite them creating such a ruckus in real-life terms. In September, I almost gave up at the amount of criticism I had received from following my philosophy somewhat religiously, even when I was so close to changing my ways and falling into the rabbit hole of complacency. To be naively illustrative, I always stand for having a considerable level of noise in my classes, reflecting enthusiastic chatter, which may also be off-topic, as long as everyone’s working ...

It is August ending, at last, and with it, summertime memories of this year end, too. It makes me quite weary to notice how time flies and new beginnings are simply thursted onto our palms, like persistent invitations. Sometimes, I want things to last a little longer, just to spend a few more days in reverence and appreciation for all what has been and all what hasn't. August was not as enchanting, but it left me enchanted. I close this month feeling so much enchantment and appreciation for life's spellbinding miracles. It was quite disheartening to spend so many rainy days feeling dull and dampened, there were also a few family issues that I stood helpless and powerless before. My parents decided to close this summer with so much resentment and anger, and for a while I thought I would do that, too. However, I caught myself a little earlier and chose to open my heart again to love sincerely, capture the blessings and focus my whole existence on the little things I have faith in...

Here they are, the last few days of this summer before returning home. This summer had been the most beautiful and most enchanting, with tribulations that were traversed with ease and grace, ridden along with the light of transformation. It was a summer of balance; I recall that I had beautiful summers before, but they all crashed into deep pits of not knowing how to deal with the unknown imbedded in goodbyes and subsequent new beginnings. I want to reflect upon this summer to sew those memories in lessons and little transformations that I can take home with me. Perhaps there were more vivid memories in my inner world rather than on the outside. There were little trips around the country and beyond borders, yet still, every walk was an adventure and a spellbinding experience. This is what I’m here to account on. the outdoors The most prominent thing about this summer was my intention to be outside as often as possible. Bicycle rides were abundant with ordinary sights. We discovered new...

January: - Had fun studying for my A level exams. - Witnessing this indescribable happiness when my best friend got this High Achiever award. February: - Went to Casablanca, Morocco. Made a new friend and never stopped singing. - Nearly fainted from joy when my best friend got to meet Bill Gates in NYC. March: - Lost only 7 marks in my A level exam; which kind of made me really happy. - Gave this speech to fifth graders about how nature teaches us to give. - Spring came, and with spring comes bliss. :) April: - Started playing ballet at home, instead of stressing myself out with jogging. - Watermelons. Watermelons. Watermelons. May: - Wrote the graduation speech, which required some inspiration and magic. - More watermelons, peaches and apples. June: - Graduation day. - Ramadan iftar moments. July: - Being a child again with my sister. - Nature in Poland; the rain, the sun, the clouds, the forests and quaint towns. - Vienna's melodious, classical and antiqu...

Lately, I’ve been observing people around me, especially adults. I can conclude that many of the ones around me struggle to keep their lives bright and beautiful because of allowing the demands of the modern world to sweep them off their feet. Many of us have become like machines, not allowing our own discerning to shape what we think is most contingent and suitable. We are humans. We can never be machines. We were not born to receive inputs from the world and let them program us without will, because as you grown and adult, you start to have a unique perception and voice regarding what suits you most. There are so many ways you can eliminate that machine-like lifestyle and start perceiving the world with an eminent glow that makes you more fulfilled, happy and human. Here are 8 ways I think could make a huge difference to your life. :) Practice Gratitude E veryday, pick a few moments to list things you are grateful. It could be your parents, friends, laughter, ...

I am tearing up, recalling the simple magnificence that February has bestowed upon my humble life. As I gaze up to the kind morning skies, I feel my heart stretching wide, receiving the reinvention of my soul that has taken place throughout those days I’ve been gifted. What can I say but that February was an act of receivership, in terms of accepting and welcoming all that there is; the subtle pains of uncertainty, the fears of not being capable enough, the humility that comes with being wrong. When those waves came crashing to the shore of my mind, I welcomed them. I stretched my heart enough to accept the paradox of being human; being both the shadow and light simultaneously, and to let it flow to the shores of epiphanies and realisations. Most of all, I accepted being loved. Being in a place where I accept and welcome being loved for who I am and whatever it is that I do, was quite foreign until recently. In the arms of blessings and miracles, I welcomed them all into my heart so th...

what seems to be a hardship turns out to be the greatest blessing with time. trust more. gratitude, even for the things you don't yet have, manifests miracles and abundance. stay true to your heart and feel deeply, cry if you have to, but turn to God to help you. it's very important to apologise when you make mistakes. it's right to fight for your self-worth. it's right to express how you would rather hear more about how to improve rather than be humiliated. it's right to fight for your inherent strengths.   everything starts with believing in, having faith in, staying true to and loving yourself. restlessness doesn't change anything. all you have is the present moment. I know you're trying to make many connections and stay social, but growing your circle too much, especially virtually, exhausts you. it's okay to value quality over quantity when it comes to your social life. love is an action; it's a way of being. love can be maintained despite the p...

I’ve been absent and I’m sorry. I’ve received some messages from many of you asking me to keep posting and it truly mesmerised me. I’m so grateful for your love and trust. Thank you. :) How has it been lately? Just as I had envisioned it. Everything is falling into place slowly then all at once. Those dreams I dreamt on those pine-covered roads in September, walking as the autumn air brushed my cheeks— they are all coming true. My health, happiness, empowerment, faith in God and selflessness— all is in sync. I am quite fascinated by how miraculous life really is when led by love. But here it comes— a glimpse of doubt. I look around me and see those adults at work and university. I hear them complaining. I watch them talk drearily about how difficult things are. I watch them sarcastically make comments about reality and feel their spite and negativity pierce my soul. Will I end up like them in a few years? Will I lose this love I hold in my heart? I keep asking myself that, ...

I have written about emptiness perennially, over and over again until I memorized how it felt like to have a heart that is chipping off, rusting, losing its glowing vitality, leaving the inside unprotected and vulnerable. I took my time feeling this pain. The accomplice was surprisingly anger, frustration, and hatred. I did feel hate towards so many things in my life; the neighbors which made no effort to beautify the block we live in, the dreary governmental decisions and bureaucracy, the monotony in our home, and the outbursts of aggression I have to deal with almost every day. I spent some days completely silent, talking only when necessary, slowing down every moment, aggravating the pain, and strengthening its accompanying, infuriating narratives. But then, I chose to be grateful, not only for the things I have but the things I don't have at the moment. I chose to believe in a future in which I have everything I currently lack; family, close friends, adventures, pr...