a daylight dream

I must admit that I do spend most of my time thinking about the big picture— the convoluted complexities and consequences of a single decision rippling across an entire system. since it’s been an inherent trait, I didn’t find it difficult to emerge to the adult world in that perspective.  yet, I must say that being constantly aware of the bigger picture and to keep implying how a single action could affect the whole is an exhaustive way to be in this world. often times, I feel helpless. my idealism beats me up when I make mistakes, since they find a way to inform me about the implications of my decisions on the psyche of the ones around me. in the midst of all this, sometimes there is no right thing to do, for you do not see the preferred end goal rippling out into the brokenness and imperfection of our lives. I’ve fallen into this trap so many times, and the epiphany guides me towards the courtesy of honouring the bubble of whole-heartedly doing my part in the whole. idealists oft...

my love, I surrendered to the courtesy of this distance between us, the silence of two hearts in love with God in sight. in this vast, often guilty, non-doing, one rests in the sweetness of the foreordained, the timelessness of it, even through patience that stretches out in eons. all pain fades away. I noticed how I fall into the glamour of believing I could avoid the pits between me and this deep, universal love. receiving the gift of dreaming and seeing a glimpse of wholeness, in my existing human blindness, I thought it my responsibility to orchestrate the divine. to craft the becoming of it. to effortfully be too much of it. but, no.. love is a path of eased surrender. quite paradoxically, the formidable part. the fragment that I am is my utmost seed. the vast scapes of love in it. the worship through it. the smallness of being courteous towards it taking its time, doing its part, and surrendering that it, too, lights the sky. in this silence and this space, I surrender who we are...