a daylight dream

  the weight of wrong doing fills my body, a heaviness in my centrefold, and i see myself more than before.   what was it that pinned me into separation again? an answer finds itself in my heart. you spoke, knowing it was you. you manoeuvred, knowing it was you. you guided, knowing it was you. you saw that it was you. but it was Me. this soul is leaning into being courteous with its time. but this time is one of invisible silence. the supreme goodness of intentions enough to be planted in the heartfelt ground of loving worldliness. the growth and halting of growth that evolves— it is not I.  light longs to be seen as light, unattached, free flowing and ever-expansive. the heart feels the wrongdoing in attaching itself to it and feels weighed down trying to manoeuvre it by design. the sacredness is inscrutably unspeakable. it longs to be received with this courtesy. surrendering words and doing, light flows into observing eyes, followed intently. it smiles into its becomin...

it’s been one year around the sun since we sat here, our hands in the dirt, digging a home for the most intimate brokenness.. and I sit here now, polarised to climbing mountains that were never meant for our kind of celestial, timeless light. falling to the grass midst the flowering weeds, I break into tears of surrendered grief. why am I falling apart like this? I don’t try to dry those tears. I’m not used to breaking like this, with so much unknowingness. I’m not used to letting go mountains I know these feet could climb. but just like that dream, I choose to trace my steps back to where I meet you, always home, in the light of a sacred life.. in your embrace, we walk in gentleness into the horizons and in the rain of gifts we never deserved.  I grieve losing the path of fear, my love. the sweetest loss.