August Enchanting My Heart.

It is August ending, at last, and with it, summertime memories of this year end, too. It makes me quite weary to notice how time flies and new beginnings are simply thursted onto our palms, like persistent invitations. Sometimes, I want things to last a little longer, just to spend a few more days in reverence and appreciation for all what has been and all what hasn't.

August was not as enchanting, but it left me enchanted. I close this month feeling so much enchantment and appreciation for life's spellbinding miracles. It was quite disheartening to spend so many rainy days feeling dull and dampened, there were also a few family issues that I stood helpless and powerless before. My parents decided to close this summer with so much resentment and anger, and for a while I thought I would do that, too. However, I caught myself a little earlier and chose to open my heart again to love sincerely, capture the blessings and focus my whole existence on the little things I have faith in. Life is truly filled with miracles and all we could do is simply ask for eyes that see them. Despite a week filled with rain and dreary atmospheres; a home filled with resentment, tears and coldness, I am not bothered anymore. I focus on my life, my sister's heart and all the possibilities awaiting me to spill light into my life.

I lost track of heartfulness this month. Some days, I didn't catch myself before plunging into episodes of self-judgement and criticism, which caused it to last for days. I am rather surprised about how everything triggers me to resent myself. I find many ways to simply be unkind to my body and my heart, to the extend that I went for days not accepting love from my sister, not looking into her eyes, not eating anything or even drinking water and just sit there wallowed in my own duties, attending to all the bags that need to be packed alongside my father's intellectual calculations on how to perfectly pack a bag. For me, packing is an enjoyable process but my father scares me from all the things that could go wrong. This year, I surrendered and stopped myself from being afraid. I simply let him do whatever he thinks is right and trusted the outcome. It is not my issue to worry about if I'm not responsible.

The last few days of August, I'm focusing more on my heart. I have forgiven myself for being unloving towards my sister and am making amends by practising for a dance for our favourite Taylor Swift song. I make her extra-cute breakfasts and read her mind in almost everything. I pray more slowly and do inspired work. Miracles have shown paths to take shape and watching them simply melts my heart into unlimited faith. My eyes are now filled with dreams for the life I have always wished for: a life filled with people I love, nature, flowers, rituals, serving a community and simply appreciating and revering the blessing of life itself. It feels now that I am walking in the shoes of a being who has flown in time and touched dreams coming to life.

Nature here was autumny and wild. The weather was magnificent in the first few weeks; filled with glorious sunshine, chrysanthemums and wildflowers budding with smiles. There were torrential rains and I got terribly soaked, many a-time. On those extended bicycle rides, we discovered a quaint town called Augustynow which has alpacas? I have never seen an alpaca so close in my life, and it's almost like a fairytale. The last two weeks were sombre with rainy clouds lingering in the sky, as if waiting to do something and tear this town into pieces. I am not fit for places which are not sunny, really. The sun does something magical in my heart and fills me with inspiration, creativity and LIFE. Yet, I know I need to work on this, for what if life throws me in a place where the sun never shines? I know I have it in me to be the sun of a rainy town. :)

The next few days I believe will be remarkable. I have been accepted as an educational influencer, which means I would be able to compile blog posts and publish recources for educators around the world. At work, it was always a dream of mine to team up with twelfth-graders and become co-teachers, and this might be happening any time soon. I am also participating in an 'Empathy Week' led by Gavin McCormack, so I get to teach a lesson for free to children I have never met before online. I can't believe I am doing this and I am not sure how to do it, but I trust my heart that it will find the best way to deliver content to children. I am also participating in a student-led magazine, spreading awareness about nature and working alongside those bright minds is always a pleasure. Above all, it is a new academic year, and I am praying from the deepest cell of my heart that I am guided towards the learners who need me the most, and those who I need, too.

There is also this teacher-led conference on the 9th of September. I am thinking of participating, sharing what I had learned those past years but I am also super lost on what I have to offer. Thus, I am taking it slowly and shall consult my heart regarding what I need to do to serve others genuinely.

Today, I pray for miracles. I pray for beautiful possibilities. My intention for September is to embody universal values and truths. Alongside this, I pray to take care of myself and heart more, to soak every inch of me in unlimited love, grace and softness. I pray not to stress myself out and unburden myself, trusting God for His wisdom and meticulous control. I pray for more and more dreams that touch divinity. 

I'm publishing this whilst I spend my first day at work after I had unpacked, exploring new beginnings. I'm smiling, breathing easy and surrendering to a field where all can be manifested with gratitude and love.

Thank you, dearest August. I leave you behind in an ocean of transformative, summertime memories. :')