a daylight dream

  I always forget that when the mind is empty, it’s for a beautiful reason. When the mind is shifting in fearsome unknowns and when there’s no ray of light to pierce through the fogginess, it’s best to wait for the right time, it’s compassionate to stay in trust until it’s there— for it always comes. These past few weeks, I’ve again witnessed parts of myself that are ruled my ego. This side of me that restlessly pushes to the extremes when it’s lost and doesn’t know what to do, when there’s no productivity to be proud of and take pleasure in. I’ve seen my obsessions in new light and I come in forgiveness and repentance each time— I’m sorry. I’m sorry for pushing through the idleness with so much harshness. I’m sorry for not trusting inspiration well enough and not believing in this feeble intuitive knowing that it will make sense in time. Repeatedly, I apologise for not taking heart in the time it takes for emergence of patterns and beauty. How much time will it take for me to trul...

It's been such a soft-spoken, gentle year in which the first letters of love were learned and engrained in my heart. There are some moments here that I shall write down that were embedded in my most sacred dreams, and I am filled with sweet gratitude recounting them. I have changed so much. I'm sometimes not sure about who I've become, but I am nevertheless open to the transition toward more gentle womanhood, a kind of becoming I was always longing to witness. So much of the harshness has melted away in a series of soul-shattering experiences that have made me shed tears of limitless understanding for the nature of this world, and it is ultimately love. January   A trip to Portsaid, collecting shells and taking in the sea-breeze. Exploring unschooling, unlearning my pedagogy and being open to new ways of learning that exist. Opening my heart through some open wounds. Spring’s vibrant signs: dandelions and expanding time. Reading Mary Oliver’s work and feeling inspiration su...