a daylight dream

In the spaces between my breaths, I linger there awhile, returning to the darkness of the source. I allow all my doings to become undone; for the less I have of that, the freer I am. There is so much brokenness inside. So much brokenness deep into my roots. When it’s winter and all my blooms and leaves fall, there is only brokenness left. I’m not sure what it is, but there is something I miss so deeply. I miss God, I miss the truth, I miss the darkness and the infinite wisdom that knows and does with so much love and benevolence. And I miss you. I miss you till it hurts, till my eyes well up, till the storms clear. I miss you till I’m filled with the sweetest blaze.  And that’s the deepest longing, to be with you till we know we were never really separate, and in some afterlife, we will never be separate. @sunlightafterdark

  I’m up at dawn in the quiet stillness of my room. The worm-eating birds have concluded their songs, and now it is time for the others to rush in towards their cacophonies. Sometimes I know what they’re singing about, but this morning, I’m not so sure anymore. I spent this morning heaving with uncontrollable tears. I’m not sure where they’re coming from, but they’re purifying, healing and eye-opening. They seem to swell from every part of me that has not opened the gates of love. I’m heaving with a plea of forgiveness for forgetting the essence of who we truly are. This morning, I just can’t wait to see the truth. I truly pray to see God and thank Him, kneel down in infinite prayers, thanking him for bringing light to the darkness of my life. I used to be so torn, so afraid, so filled with doubt and hurricanes of hatred. I used to be so far away..  And now I know what real gratitude feels like, and I am carried by the day to relive experiences of gratitude over and over again...