a daylight dream

This is coming from a girl who used to spend 8 to 9 hours on her twitter and tumblr accounts, doing nothing all day but follow fandoms and live an ordinary stereotypical life. I wasn't aware of I what I was doing at that time, and perhaps it was my only exit to stray away from boredom. I officially deactivated my Facebook, Twitter and Instagram accounts when I was almost sixteen year old, and I say it had been three years without them. Am I dead yet? I am actually living. Yes, there are times when it's peculiar to be the only one in a group of people not to know the latest celebrity news or new fashion styles. But to me, these kind of things are immensely insignificant. Social media proved to be successful to damage a part of my teenagehood by introducing me to unrealistic beauty standards which led me to compare my life with others. I started questioning how I looked like, the clothes I had, the life I was living. Everything was not enough, and it opened up a do...

A suspension to me is more like a sand storm in a desert; one that even when settled, can be stirred up with the slightest wind activity. I do not like to be suspended, though I've been stirred up in the atmosphere of my future for so long, that I'm almost accustomed. They say that obscurity is therapeutic, it adds beauty and excitement to life. Yet, I must admit I do wish to settle in life a little; to know my aim, the pathway towards my goals, the dream to my destiny, but I still remain in a haze of so many "I don't know"s. Yes, it is thrilling to think that life will hold so much but my little narrow-minded perception is failing the ultimate unearthliness required to feel at peace regarding that matter. How beautiful it would be to actually feel grounded to who you are? To the decisions you've taken? The people you know? I think it would be a very comforting feeling. Currently, I'm not attached to anything. I do not have an aim to start working...

Should I trust my heart? Especially when there's comfort surpassing its every corner?  Should I trust love? I realised that love, no matter how comforting it feels, is such a risky adventure. It involves a lot of compromise, a lot of things to let go. You tend to forget about yourself for a while, and do things just for the sake of love, for the sake of an emotion that fills your perception with imperfections made so beautiful and delicately flawless. Love is a dimension that doesn't involve around people, but their very own souls, and as they dig deeper into their true identities, the more intense this emotion is... because it fills them up entirely, allows them to visualise happiness in infinite measures. Oh and love, it makes us feel alive. At the moment, my heart is beating and pumping surges of untamed love, accompanied by sudden bursts of memories that are trying to fit themselves in a puzzle piece I had started many years ago; will I ever be loved? The...