February: The Depths of Child-like Love.
I am tearing up, recalling the simple magnificence that February has bestowed upon my humble life. As I gaze up to the kind morning skies, I feel my heart stretching wide, receiving the reinvention of my soul that has taken place throughout those days I’ve been gifted.
What can I say but that February was an act of receivership, in terms of accepting and welcoming all that there is; the subtle pains of uncertainty, the fears of not being capable enough, the humility that comes with being wrong. When those waves came crashing to the shore of my mind, I welcomed them. I stretched my heart enough to accept the paradox of being human; being both the shadow and light simultaneously, and to let it flow to the shores of epiphanies and realisations.
Most of all, I accepted being loved. Being in a place where I accept and welcome being loved for who I am and whatever it is that I do, was quite foreign until recently. In the arms of blessings and miracles, I welcomed them all into my heart so that I would grow to love even beyond the confines of what I know. I’m not quite sure how far love could go, but I know it is infinitely deep, just as the nature of our souls.
My intuition gently coaxed me so many nights to believing, this February. On my armchair, jotting down notions of gratitude, an entrancing dream would fall onto my lap, shaking my very core. Shaking me, wondering if it even is possible to happen, pushing away the clouds of odds and fears of not knowing what to do, and the endless ‘how’s that run lists and lists in the uncertainty of dreams. I’d lie on my bed, sleepless and eyes wide open, gently welcoming the possibility of this dream translating in the beauty of daylight.
I asked God for signs that it would be right to chase my dreams, to follow the magic of my intuition, and they arrived just in time. There was no way but to follow the effortlessness, honour the kindness of the world and step into the daylight, overwhelmed with grace by how the universe always finds the way ‘how’.
I learned to forgive and to embrace the brokenness of the ones around me. My companion and I shared a silence so loud and fearful, but looked into each other’s eyes with nothing but forgiveness between us; forgiving our brokenness, certain that it was here just to be loved and welcomed openly, without resistance, without being afraid that they’d ruin our dreams. It was love for our humanness, not in spite of it. For a person who is fond of ideals and glorious perfection, it has been transforming to receive the glory of being imperfect, yet more sweetly, yet more pure and honest.
I trusted God in February. I trusted that it would be alright, that the universe would find a way to support me, that I didn’t have to figure it all out, and blend into the present moment’s feedback. I learned to open my eyes for signs, which are ever so apparent in the light of the infinite ‘now’. I learned to trust my soul and exist in love.
It was child-like for it was purely creative. It was free-spirited and expressive, in harmony with fluctuations, united with the nature of who we truly are.
I’m lost for words to describe how grateful I am, and I know that in March, I’ll find novel ways to keep giving, to receive even more and grow into my truest light.
Thank you, February love.
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