why is it so different?
back then, perhaps a year ago, life was truly beautiful. it is as if a bird created a kingdom out of its glorified cage, having utmost faith that this was all there was in the world. the blackbird that I am, my dawn was my only reality, and my frolicking was a substance of doing the only thing I ever learned to do: service and self-betterment. here and now, there are much more requirements to this life such as becoming deserving of a different kind of happiness. a newfound joy in being served by this life and enjoying its pleasures. I find that selfish and unnecessary. I wish to leave this world unscathed by attachment and so I float in all gatherings around blessings so wary of touching any of it. is it living off fear, now? fear of being attached? fear of pruning myself into the temporary and forgetting the truth of this life? I have become quite afraid of what distracts one from the truer world of being. I simply observe the joys of others but find myself wandering in cloudy A...