a daylight dream

I sit there alone, locked up with my minimal fluctuations, feeling every tense and weak emotion, leaving it affect me; torture me, lax me, drown me with completely everything. I sense the burn, the confusion, the peculiar drive to just run away from my being. Inside I'm running and running.. in my place, in a confined area of an imagination that does not stretch enough to meet reality, I'm expecting myself to run out of breath, to reach the speed of light, to be reduced into the matter that makes me feel that way. But then I see you, and you're sitting next to me and my heart starts to beat all of a sudden. So many words, so many explanations.. and I don't know where to start. I want to tell you, hold you, feel you, and turn back in time at the same time. Instead, I just look at you, my eyes shivering with the uncertainty, the fluctuations, the world of vibrations killing me. You sit there, your eyes so bold, so sanguine, leaving no room for a nerve to pluck your co...

Nothing makes me remember more than totems of the past; fragrances, sounds and objects. The fragrance of the lavender scent we have in our house at the moment takes me back to early memories of winter 2014, where I played on my guitar morning and evening, listened to heart-wrenching songs, wrote journal entries signed as Catherine to symbolise my cheerfulness and as Soraya to reflect my sadness. The sound of the school buses hitting the tree branches every morning takes me back to grade ten and eleven school bus rides, laughing along with immature, troublesome seventh graders, listening to unreal stories of boyish adventures, opening the windows and letting the cold air refresh my mind, to nourish it for a new day. The volleyball net at school reminds of me Zeina and Nouran, playing swerves, allowing the ball to rise higher and higher, our eyes focused on a distance-- the most precise distance that would let our palms smack the ball, reaching the other side. And Saturdays teleport ...

Firstly, I'd like to ascertain that I'm dead set against the fact that eating meat is a way of being cruel to animals. Because I'm overly interested in biology and life sciences, humans are animals themselves, and if you don't believe so, we are mammals at least. We are a part of the food chain/web. I don't believe it's cruel to eat animals, just as I don't think lions are cruel to hunt their prey. It's indifferent. It's life. It's full of blood and death. It's the force driving life forward. However, I must affirm that I believe that the capitalist meat industry is cruel. Barbarous, even. Luckily, the industry here in Egypt is not so well-developed because we don't own so much technological capital like the in the US and Europe, so there is some gentle human proximity with animals. However, it pains me to think that I'm eating chicken that have been gathered in a large room with probably awful ventilation, caged in those small ...

I'm currently wearing my dad's olive-green polar, which isn't providing me with the comfort and warmth I expected. Perhaps the problem is too inherent, you know, because I have this Hashimoto's thyroid disease that makes cold-blooded all the time. And that brings me back to the point where I ask, what the hell is happening to the weather? I remember the mild Egyptian weather with the soothing warm sunshine that leaves you in eternal comfort. The sun shines these days, yes. But there is an inexorable chill that makes the sunshine rather obsolete. Or maybe it's just me. I don't know, I just detest the winter pain. I had this really unearthly conversation with my friend Mariam yesterday, and we talked about our ambitions. Both of us have this heartening purpose within us, and sadly we feel kind of left out from this unappreciative society. Lately, I've been struggling with thoughts that make me feel so inadequate, so unaccomplished because my aspirations w...