a daylight dream

This is going to be a highly personal and rather painful reflection, but I’m going to write it down in hope that you can also relate. And you all know that my purpose is to bring to light experiences that we humans have to go through in order to break free from restraints, limitations and boundaries to truly live a meaningful, beautiful life. And little did I know that this whole beauty involved death. I might have poetically envisioned it, but I was unaware that such an experience could be real and powerful, even painful. Let me start with that late September evening last year, when I walked into my balcony to take a moment to observe my surroundings. Instantly, I noticed my geranium plants in the southern corner of the balcony with a strange hue, a rather faded complexion and structure. I looked closely and touched their leaves— They were wilting. It took me by surprise because, geraniums don’t normally wilt so early; I was even looking forward to enjoy their gre...

A few days ago, I turned twenty-one. It was an ordinary birthday, that kind of slow-weekend, where we went out to do grocery shopping for our upcoming trip and just idled around watching movies and nothing else in particular. But it’s not that what truly matters. I’m here because, on my twenty-first birthday, I felt that I was loved . It touched me deeply and all of the pain and struggle of feeling unloved just resurfaced. My heart was beating, chest clenching and I had this bizarre sensation radiating around me. It was beautiful, it was like life was proving to me that all of those fears which tell me that I am alone and totally separated from everyone I know were wrong. They were lies my ego was feeding me to hold on to my restlessness and constant strive to attain perfection. I have received many beautiful wishes from people I don’t know and ones that I do. I used to think that I was a very lonely person, but it turned out that so many kind people cared enough to sim...