a daylight dream

of course I am lost, but it does not mean i am forsaken. free falling into this uncertainty of having a purpose beyond myself, I feel the subtlety of being held, enveloped by the ceasing of never ending worries.. of course I am lost in forsaking all my words, and never finding time long enough to reach a silence so deep, welling a boundless bouquet of more.. I’m lost in separation and found in oneness. I’m lost in myself and found in everything. in the minuscule drop that contains me, I have lost my essence finding it in the mirror.. is it true that this is no longer about me? that it’s no longer what these words and hands can do? is it true now that freefalling into the precious now is all there is to be alive for? then I am lost..  I am lost . a heart never ceases being reminded of you, dear one. there is a mind in all of this instructing it to keep it away.. in the silence of it, the sacredness remains.

first came the bout of cold, passing through it as fast as i could. somehow, speed was necessary this week. time was perceived unmercifully, and despite the longer bus rides, i was not able to truly linger in restfulness. even the early, springtime walks were rather unlively, occasionally adorned by a few tears— the tears of feeling out of place. i’ve been wondering lately if i’m in the right place. often, i feel that my daily doings are erratically unpurposeful, feeding an unconscious stream of doing that does not see the light. this kind of feeling drains me to the point of exhaustion, to the point where it was arduous to wake in the morning. it’s my first time to take a day off work. i've been waking in tears of fatigue this week, my whole body aching, my heart almost dead. it’s my first time in so long not to feel the passion oozing in my veins to meet the new day, and it hurts. i am still unsure what i’ve done to create this aching soulful fatigue. it’s the afternoon and i’ve ...

do you still read the poetry of spring in your eyes, love? are you still a maddened lover in sleepless worlds, longing your dance, a flame burning air alive? how it hurts me when you forget your truth.. how it hurts my heart when you forsake our heavenly dream of eternal bliss.. a lover knows a lover’s heart, reckons it at once.. the childlike innocence weeping for a sweeter solitude of two souls loved as one.. have you forgotten the child in you that embraced my heart amid the garden of fruit blossoms, dear? oh, don’t tell me you did.. the bliss of love, the sacred gift. and I’m mad, I’m not saying I’m not. I’m mad in my longing, my undoubtful faith, and saying yes to losing everything for you, my love.  my love.. sink in the sweetness, it hurts less than the bitter taste of forgetfulness of of your one faithful servant..

  صاح قلبي هائجاً.. هل نسيتي؟ هل نسيتي حبك الأبدي؟ و عهد كرم حياتك وهباً لخدمة قدسية حرم الإيمان؟ هل تري ضوء فنون الحب؟ صمت لدني و الأنا يغني في مسرح الحياة.. هل تراني حقاً و ليس ذاك صوتي؟ و لا ذاك عملي؟ و لا ذاك عفوي و لا ظني.. خلعت الأشياء لحضرتك.. ذابت الأسباب لحضورك.. تلاشت الطرق منك و إليك.. فيك.. قبلة حبستها في خيالي و لا تبالي شعلتها.. فقد أحرقت نيران الوداع و أراض الأوقات.. بقيت بتسبيح ضوئها و انغمست في وديان أشواقي.. لا تبالي.. لا تبالي..