a daylight dream

A few years ago, I wanted to grow up to be a free spirit. I wanted to evolve both spiritually and mentally, reach this state of complete tranquility and a fine ability to let go when needed. Of course, I was better off back then, and it's worrying me to have sunk into a state of undistinguished sadness that lacerates my potentials. I have to be honest today, so that I could feel a little bit better. I want to identify the reigns that are pressuring me and guiding me to roads I'm not willingly choosing. I want to be free but perhaps the process of completely letting go requires some relapses, periods of hopelessness and lack of control. I need to acknowledge this, I need to make sure that I know that this is my path, I'm the one who is in control. I can choose how to feel, I can carve my emotions into a state of eternal peace and happiness. I know I can, I've done it before. My soul did not sink since it does not need a breath of air. It's already alive and I...

The modern lifestyle shifts away our natural instincts into bustling stereotypes and prejudices, taking our own bodies away from us and judging them from a third side that typically looks like a model runway show. Cameras, comments and criticism. Yes, we took our bodies there. One simple fact we need to discern is that each body is distinct. Each body is biologically different from the other. All the minor genetic variations have a huge impact on our metabolism and therefore, our health mechanism. Our bodies are enchanting, and they are surprisingly able to heal themselves and cope with our sabotaging modern environment. However, when we disconnect it from its basic necessities, it runs out of energy, balance and control. We see the mess earlier than anyone ever did. Diseases are haphazard and no longer stratified according to age. We aren't autotrophic and our bodies aren't self-sufficient, we were born this environment to achieve interdependance. So, these are some ba...

It's been a tough week. A week full of relapses, cries, anxiety and sleepless nights. Nights filled with horrifying dreams of people criticising my lifestyle. A lifestyle so restless and never guilt-free. I'm always like that in January. Always so sensitive, intolerant, anxious and insolent. It's like I'm growing old even though the whole world is being reborn with new wishes and hopes. With the foggy mornings, the voices in my head dwell within the uncertainty and the loneliness, and I listen to them, struggling as my own human voice sinks, fights for air, and drowns. But it's okay, I guess. I need to breathe. I need to slow it down. Take it easy. Breathe again. Stick to today, the simple things that make me happy, the little joyous moments that make my soul so pure. Happiness is not something to be guilty about, it's a way to express gratitude. A smile is not a sign that I'm ignorant of the world's needs. I exist as an individual and sometime...