a daylight dream

The faint light is flowing by the eastern corner of our room and my eyes meet life. I take a deep breath and look at you, sleeping, and a swelling wave of gratitude soaks me, hides deep inside of this rattling cage of a heart and never finds a way out. Slowly, I walk away, outside. My footsteps are strides, following a calming echo of the ripples embracing the banks of that little stream we adore, touching the mouldy moss surrounding it. The ripples are reflecting ethereally infinite flickers of the eastern light and they glow in my eyes, and I’m nothing but this reflection of what I see, my vision fixated on my own soul, wrinkly as the water moves back and forth. I close my eyes, and as always, I remember you . I remember you in these moments of darkness because I need your enlightenment. For a long time, I’ve lived with my whole shame and guilt put upfront, facing the world. I live a long time shying away from the truth, from my darkness and demons, and I pretend that th...

I think it’s our nature to react to things happening around us and actually  feel. Meaning, feeling daunted, joyful, anxious and thrilled according to circumstances. That’s a very ordinary human trait, which doesn’t excite me. I always tend to move away from what is ordinary and be somehow supernatural, to experience a newer and unique state of existence. It always disappoints me when I find myself reacting with rapture or melancholy because I always intend to practice a state of mind which I find so beautiful, and it’s called equanimity . The philosophy behind equanimity is to feel calm and at peace no matter what happens; this ethereal state of trust and faith that leaves you unmoved yet deeply light and grateful. I believe there is grace in that, facing all situations with ultimate acceptance and forgiveness, allowing the mind to stay present and submissive. However, I think I always fall into that hole of trying to practise it, that act of letting go, and then ...