a daylight dream

Don't you think I think too much? I just have many thoughts and I never really channeled them so efficiently, until this blog happened! I'm so grateful I could write and write, God has sincerely blessed me with this ability for I think I'd explode with all of these notions cramming in my mind. :) Alright, I love friendships. Friends are usually very sweet and kind, and I cherish the laughter maybe not more than the tears that could ever occur during the earthly course of friendship. But.. I have a tiny problem here, because I just have high ideals when it comes to people. They need to fit me as closely as possible and understand the deepest positions of my soul. I'm a really eccentric person and I can no longer express myself within my classmates, who usually just laugh at me or never take my words seriously when I tend to be earnest. That's why I push myself away these days. I like people to accept me wholly, and listen to my ramblings, and I do not just share m...

I used to read the word "self-care" and automatically feel traumatised by it. I felt that excruciatingly deep pain within my body that echoed loudly with every tribulation. I know I wasn't doing anything for my body or my soul, either. When I read those self-love rituals or whatever on the Internet, those disheartening articles that included things like take bubble baths, eat chocolate, drink coffee, do what you love.. and the list goes on and on. Well, I kept reading those things until I felt I didn't fit anymore, I wasn't doing any of those things, did that mean I hated my body? Deep down, I knew I wanted to love my body. I wanted to build a genuinely real and respectful bond with my soul and physique. That road was full of trials, I tried staying in and having warm bubbly baths, drinking coffee and applying lotion on my skin but I didn't actually feel good at all. I loathed myself even more. I felt like I was being deceitful, because my idea of self...