a daylight dream

the sweetness of June: an inscrutable, gentle flow of golden honey-like moments symbolising truths and coated with a geniality so filled with ease. it wasn't like I was used to; the truth behind certain incidents spiralling into my chest viciously, making it hurt for so long. this time, it was filled with softness, presence and so much time for contemplation and signs. it was in the end, a series of moments in serene timelessness. an empowering responsibility emerging in June was the mindset to take responsibility for my choices and my actions. it was a whirlpool of a year for me with so many events, responsibilities and ongoing projects that demanded my dedication and attention. it was a little hard for my heart to take responsibility for the consequences of my choices and at times, when things went wrong awhile, instead of mindfully taking time to contemplate and see the reasons, I would simply surrender to things not working out. in the space that time creates, this June, I arri...

  I wake, your face a shoreline gold. the sun has risen to your closed eyes once more, a memory of melancholic truthfulness, given the eternity I spent traversing the maps of your distant gaze. there's this thing about us; a push and pull of titanic tides and dreams of watching moonlight glowing across horizons of our dreamscapes. I like that you're tailoring time just for me. just for this love to stretch its droplets of colour on the canvas of this aloneness we're sharing for some years. just you and me; a sacred touch, a gentle gaze, the intensity a propeller of all the sweetness in the hearts that have never known but to envision something different than what they're used to. I find it divinely honouring that there is nothing you come home to but this heart. you look into my eyes to find lost pieces of yourself; the brokenness shards of glass so invisible that it is only mine to see. in wordlessness, all we have is this space of unbroken gazes and all the unanswered...

you’d think of me bidding you farewell just a bad dream. spinning around, your face pale and your eyes sunken in sorrow. a mountain of grief. the peak collapsing after the ascent. your lips shaking with heart songs you never had the courage to say, here they are fading away. a goodbye. a long, sweet sojourn at the memories before they’re folded in compartments of our smiling eyes. I ask you now if it was love. I ask my heart whether I only loved how you made me feel: the contrast between us, the compass in my gaze. I ask myself if I only loved how I looked in your eyes. I ask whether it was through the lens of healing that I could see you, for without it, you’re but a figment of a dream in girlhood that can wistfully pass. we have said the wrong things, perhaps. the same mistakes. I remember wanting to move on past you, and I remember you holding me back. was it my fear or yours, or was it us both ? the words are pain-laden. was I but a bright star you were infatuated by and could neve...