a daylight dream

Home? Where is home? As long as those eyes are dully awake, busied, forgetful, it’s never home. As long as this body roads and intersects the times and spaces in limitless orchestration, as long as there is still one place more, one moment more— this isn’t home. Where am I? Where is the real I? Where am I when I’m not home? Oh God, it’s hard to feel at home here. I thought love would bring me a blissful peace. There’s a sacred stillness before sunrise when love is all that You are, all collapsing and deflecting form beyond form. When the light is here, all rises in chaos to be the perfect representation of You. Every atom toils. Every particle screams. Intention after intention, running out of breath just to sink down in never-ending gratitude. Nothing can ever rest till it meets You.  My heart is not enough for You. It turns with every beat— there must be a sacred place where Love is unchanged forever. I radiate with your Light but still it dies in me sometimes— how sweetly foreor...

  this season, my heart simply beckons and surrenders being followed. At times, ease flows effortlessly, reminded by love. Other times, fear steps in and rips off faith so harshly off my chest, leaving whirling black holes of darkness suffocating the gratitude I have learned to associate with every breath. this season is essentially so painfully beautiful— the duality of a world of reason, and a world of grateful love. it is a miraculous shift in perception to gaze at diabolical mishaps in this world, its painful dissolution towards chaotic unknowns, and to still deem it as a gift. a beautiful, unconditional  gift . the more I see the children around me immersed in the pain of unknowing, diseased mindsets and too much noise, the more I’m drowned by how helpless I am in the midst of all this. every year, it is harder to maintain the gratitude with the immense number of challenges pouring in, begging me to unlearn everything I’ve known and to start anew.  but it is gratitud...