a daylight dream

  May has finally ended and I am grateful to be closing this chapter for good. I’ve reflected upon all whatever has happened thoroughly, but now I can flip the page and start a new story, discovering new aspects of life midst it all. The first and third week of May were really tough, emotionally, but I think I was just dreading my examinations as they begun, not really enjoying the process of studying things I’m not passionate about. The third week was merely me just feeling a little bit all over the place, lonely and swallowed by negative energy, due to the rather daunting atmosphere at home. I wasn’t trying to feel better or even fight it, I just let this negativity flow through me if it had to. I couldn’t really do anything about it. On the other side, there were some good days. Good days of wonderful weather and long walks around the city both in the morning and at night. There were simply beautiful moments of having iftar with my dad, gratitude soaking me comp...

I had mixed feelings upon writing this post but I was determined to write everything out so truthfully. Other than that, I am aware that writing my plans and reiterating my journey as a human being does make people feel like they aren’t alone, if they are experiencing similar issues. Many people are, and most of them are hiding within the shadows of their struggles, ashamed to speak up. But speaking up is a part of healing, dearest ones. I must have mentioned the health issues I’ve been facing the past year— the recurring symptoms, bloating, brain fog, disrupted digestion, headaches, etc. I have literally spent every weekend researching on the causes of my problems and found a million answers, but I’m grateful for the research and this open sea of knowledge. There are more opportunities to heal in such a vast basket of probabilities. However, for months, I didn’t heal— and I tried everything. I’m pretty sure it’s my Hashimoto’s thyroiditis flaring up. My intuition ...

The night in May is short and restless, very soon interrupted by a choir of birds, fluttering their light wings and melodising the lyrics of our dreams. And slowly, and quite gracefully, the sun births and sends its overarching gleams to our room, the light so swift and the colour a hopeful yellow. I wake almost so suddenly, quite surprised by the lack of darkness and the vast presence of clarity. The first thing I remember is to be grateful, for I know that the morning is always a chance to start anew and rise free from yesterday’s judgements and mistakes. It’s always an opportunity for me to be a new person, to be the hope and love that I wish could embody me and fade my humanity away, which is a disappointment, because the day brings many challenges and tribulations with it as well. However, as the sun shines and the clouds trespass it ever so gently, I’m not bothered to think about what could go wrong, but rather about the responsibility that lies within me to make it a ra...