a daylight dream

where does most beauty come from? it is the emptiness of my life. the spaces that have been void of substance and divinity, courtesy towards the elements that coincide in a way to co-create the blessing of Life.  it is not the emptiness itself, but the way of being that evolves to be of worship and service to it. I’ve been reading and listening into the future of this world and how soon enough, one day, this world that was historically constructed will fall out of context. we shall be left with an emptiness so profound, except for the practices that have always been relational, invested in the divinity of liveliness, animated in its time-bound, placed context, energetically profound in meaning that is inherent and transferable through the heart. I can relate to that a lot.  it’s the scarred experiences of my life that have blessed the artistry of committing to recreating them in a way that fills one with aliveness, rather than drains it with a dark void. I witnessed a glimpse ...

  Another Ramadan has passed, and it was a smooth one. Ramadan comes and goes each year budding so much anxiety, reminding me of the difficulties my home bears. Midst all the broken memories, this Ramadan proved the ultimate mercy of God and I am grateful that I had chosen to have faith in Him.. I want to reflect, maybe a little poignantly. I’d love to look back over the years and see that my life can change and that one day, all these communal, festive, spiritual days can be lived with grace and a heartfelt kind of gratitude and love. I’m here to acknowledge the pain so that when I return to this space in the future, I never have doubt in believing in God’s abundant gifts of faith. Ramadan this year taught me the gift of acceptance. Before the month started, I revisited all my fears and let them out openly. I wrote them down, one by one, acknowledged them with fear and fearlessness alike. I also accepted the fact that Ramadan may be hard at home. I accepted the mishaps and tribula...

I   didn’t have it in mind to recollect the mistakes I’ve made this academic year and last two terms. I am mostly fixated on success and transformation. However, it’s a little different this year since it’s been a year filled with complexities that I was not adept to comprehend all alone. This academic year was perhaps monumental in terms of the imperfections, mistakes and failures I’ve encountered.   It’s been bugging me to feel them at the back of my mind, and they are begging to be unloaded in a safe, healthy space. Here I am, intending to forgive my wrongdoings and unconscious intentions that have been running my world as a teacher this year. This year has been one filled with so much innovation in my teaching style, but it was also filled with experiences that were unclear, and muddy; they have led to outcomes that are perplexing, further mitigating the situation, and I did not have time and energy to act from the deepest cell of my heart all the time. I want to forgive t...