a daylight dream

One question I have always been asked is “what loving the wrong person has taught you?”.  At that moment, the world seemed to stop. My pounding heart was the only sound heard in the drop dead silence, my eyes used to prickle with tears from the wound. The burning scar that is everlasting, that has created hundreds of other invisible ones inside out. The muffled screams and the gaping of my mouth, as I fail to find words to explain whatever my heart and mind were deciding against.  Loving the wrong person was a wicked haunt, the killer or should I say killers were always on the loose, I was always on the run for a refugee only to find myself in dark places, the more I run, the more taunting it got. Till I reached a moment of helplessness, numbness and misery. So I did what I can do best at that time surrender my soul to no further fight, nor obligation. As time passed, I learnt patience, somehow these moments of defeats seem to help me regain some will power to start fi...

I've been clearly distant those couple of weeks, but it's been a whirlpool of events. My grandmother passed away a few days ago and I had to take my time to process it before I could write anything. Some mornings, I would wake up and tell myself to write something but words wouldn't come, which made me feel quite odd. It's like I have lost a part of my identity. I'm here to talk about how my perception on life has changed the last couple of weeks; what truly matters in the very end. I watched my grandmother go through rough fits of being so close to that world we know nothing about, and it struck me that very few, yet cardinal things matter in those very last moments. I had to take some time before sleeping analysing what I'm truly chasing in life, whether they are things that would make me more at peace, more in love, even more ready to face death. Looking around me, I find that people are concerned with trivial issues. We fill our head with self...