a daylight dream

Today, November is bidding us goodbye. The ethereal blue skies are emitting an everglow, the sunshine warm and soothing as winter sets in and colourises our hearts with a uniqueness so staggering and charming. I always feel winter setting in this month. The skies get dusky purple and the sun rays more lenient and gentle. November means sweaters and mornings spent with fingers wrapped around a hot mug in the darkness. Perhaps that’s why I always feel unease in November, because it’s when I wake up to greet the morning and find the sky so dark and lonely, inflicting hostility in my heart. There were so many days this November where I felt questionably alone and lost just because of the late sunrises and having to head outside without the light and the stars twinkling so far away. But I tried my best to feel at home, even with the darkness. November taught me a lot. It brought me inwards and allowed me to examine so much of what brings me and others down with self-imposed

I caught you. I caught you overthinking, analysing and connecting those far-apart dots of your life. I caught you feeling lost, scared and anxious about your future. I caught you not knowing where you’re going. You’re not alone, trying to make sense of your life. In fact, at one point, all of us experience this uncertainty. Those thoughts may visit us every few days or weeks and they leave us with this draining discomfort. But I caught you thinking that way every single day and let’s face it, it’s not doing you any good. This fear and nervousness regarding your future is not exactly uplifting you or making you focused on the present moment. It’s distracting, unsettling and even..  depressing . The light, at this very uncertain moment, is your dream. That dream of who you want to be in the future; your personality, the clothes you’d wear, the way you’d speak, the work you’d do, the friends you would have and the place you find yourself so drawn to. That ideal

I stand in our balcony, caressing the growing plants and look ahead. The sky is dusky purple and the sun is glowing in a burning shade of crimson. I look at you, standing so near, our sweaters brushing each other, and I can feel every spark they create on this cold beloved November morning. I look at you because I’m proud of your growth. I’m proud of your timid dreams that you have decided to speak out loud despite the uncertainties. There were times, when it was all so risky and doubtful, but you decided to go for it anyway. You were determined to test the mercifulness of our universe and the way it is perfectly capable of loving us so dearly. You trusted your beating heart after neglecting it for so long. You paired your passion with a dexterous practice that got us all the way to where we are. Where are we now, dearest gardener? We are in the gardens you have planted with your own visions. We are looking out on vast green fields and feel the crisp, cool air brushing ou

Lately, I’ve been observing people around me, especially adults. I can conclude that many of the ones around me struggle to keep their lives bright and beautiful because of allowing the demands of the modern world to sweep them off their feet. Many of us have become like machines, not allowing our own discerning to shape what we think is most contingent and suitable. We are humans. We can never be machines. We were not born to receive inputs from the world and let them program us without will, because as you grown and adult, you start to have a unique perception and voice regarding what suits you most. There are so many ways you can eliminate that machine-like lifestyle and start perceiving the world with an eminent glow that makes you more fulfilled, happy and human. Here are 8 ways I think could make a huge difference to your life. :) Practice Gratitude E veryday, pick a few moments to list things you are grateful. It could be your parents, friends, laughter,

By nature, I’m an idealist, which means, I direct my whole heart and mind towards an ideal in which morality, human rights, development and positive change is sustained. From a young age, I have constructed the world upon that ideal and chose to let it stay that way. I know many people who are idealists, and it’s such a pleasure to get to know them, for this is when our individual, unique visions click to further integrate our ideals and make them more meaningful and worthy of fighting for. My idealism doesn’t mean I’m a perfectionist. Yes , I value hard work, but I do not ever focus on the results of work and effort. The process of creating something, understanding concepts and putting them into action is far more rewarding to me that achieving excellent results. So, I may exert a lot of effort understanding something deeply, but when it comes to the final execution, I may not do things perfectly. I keep the bigger picture in mind but the details always slip and ruin some of

Just a little over a year ago, I would ride the bus to school. I would take a seat near the window, put my headphones on and stare at the changing scenes, as October skies flooded with clouds and delicate sunlight. I’d look into them and lapse into deep analysis of where I was heading. I didn’t know where I was heading. The map had the coordinates, the map had every detail.. but I still didn’t know where I was going. In that bus, with music in my ears, I’d breakdown to tears from panic. I’d remember the things I want to do to reach my ideals and feel so small before them. I’d cry fearing to fail. I’d cry feeling lost and confused because I don’t know what I’m doing. I just want to do right— oh world, please let me do it right this time. On the bus I’d remember that I’m all alone. I had just lost connection to ones that mean to me most and my heart was empty. It was struggling to feel safe in the most safe places, because it was lonely. It wanted to hear some beautiful

I’ve been absent and I’m sorry. I’ve received some messages from many of you asking me to keep posting and it truly mesmerised me. I’m so grateful for your love and trust. Thank you. :) How has it been lately? Just as I had envisioned it. Everything is falling into place slowly then all at once. Those dreams I dreamt on those pine-covered roads in September, walking as the autumn air brushed my cheeks— they are all coming true. My health, happiness, empowerment, faith in God and selflessness— all is in sync. I am quite fascinated by how miraculous life really is when led by love. But here it comes— a glimpse of doubt. I look around me and see those adults at work and university. I hear them complaining. I watch them talk drearily about how difficult things are. I watch them sarcastically make comments about reality and feel their spite and negativity pierce my soul. Will I end up like them in a few years? Will I lose this love I hold in my heart? I keep asking myself that,

We are lying down, face-to-face, and you’ve woken up before me. The moment my eyes open, I can see your inscrutable look, gazing at me like an inextinguishable flame of love. I spend a few moments looking into those beautiful, dark eyes of yours, the distance between them an infinite dimension I could never decipher. Your long, graceful fingers find themselves entwined between my hair, cupping my face with such gentleness that breaks my heart open. My chest inflates with warm air and those little molecules vibrate, touching my ribs, and every exhale feels like a release of a weight so heavily alien. I close my eyes, feeling the tears sting the round ends of my irises, slowly cascading down my cheeks like a soft, blue stream. I bury my face into your chest and feel your arms hold me. My skin touches yours, and I feel held safe, protected and whole. My body becomes as light as a rose, perfectly placed, fitting into your own. Your skin has found a way to hold me without being

September was transformational and I could write and write about how it turned my world around. Everything I had been experiencing since the beginning of the year was leading me to this relief and lightness that is taking over me. It was beautiful to be alive in September. It didn't start so joyfully, though. The first days of September was marked by tears and sobs of helplessness because I felt so low. I can't explain why. I just didn't feel like myself at all. However, I found access to a stream of knowledge through a book called Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza, which guided me to know so much about our universe and so many fundamental beliefs that are crucial to uncover the nature of our humanity. Through this book, I went deep into my soul and released pain and let in dreams and selfless ambitions that make me soar.   Before my flight back to Egypt, I worked on being more intimate and close to my sister. I apologised for my distance, studied w

-on 15.09.2019- Autumn has deeply embodied itself into my heart, as I consciously and heartily observed those yellow-crimson crisp leaves fall on our planet’s ground. Some of those leaves even fall on my shoulder, my hands have held them and sensed their wrinkled surface, dry round the edges, full of forsaken life in their very core. Because we are a reflection of who we think we are, I was deeply afraid of autumn. How would it be like to see life saying goodbye? Melancholic, of course. How would it be like to wake up and find it dark and the air scented frosty from the cold? The thought alone made my heart recoil in shivers. But today I am heading on that airplane back to Egypt. I cried, perhaps more out of love and gratitude than fear. I cried remembering every moment, every wisp of love lacing the entirety of that wistful summer. I cried as I embraced my sister and mother. My heart collapsed onto itself and it felt right. I remembered the pine trees and all of t