September's Winds of Change.

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September was transformational and I could write and write about how it turned my world around. Everything I had been experiencing since the beginning of the year was leading me to this relief and lightness that is taking over me. It was beautiful to be alive in September.

It didn't start so joyfully, though. The first days of September was marked by tears and sobs of helplessness because I felt so low. I can't explain why. I just didn't feel like myself at all. However, I found access to a stream of knowledge through a book called Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza, which guided me to know so much about our universe and so many fundamental beliefs that are crucial to uncover the nature of our humanity. Through this book, I went deep into my soul and released pain and let in dreams and selfless ambitions that make me soar. 


Before my flight back to Egypt, I worked on being more intimate and close to my sister. I apologised for my distance, studied with her, cuddled her at night and made her nice breakfasts. I opened my heart towards her love, which wasn't so apparent. The last day, we couldn't stop ourselves from crying. We spent our last morning together singing our favorite songs with the guitar and cuddling. My heart was open, and so the tears went streaming down after being stuck in my body for so long. I needed those tears, especially on the fight back, where they were uncontrollable. I was so close to the unknown of my reality back in Egypt. I just had to believe, and leave the rest without having to comprehend it.


Sometimes I wonder whether it's okay that my sister and I aren't so close. I wonder if it's good for us, especially that now I can see her scarred heart and pain gnawing at her insides. I don't want anything to traumatise her. But those goodbyes are so painful, and they'll forever leave an imprint. We will grow into cultivating flowers from within those scars. This is our journey.

But now that I am back here in Egypt, it's blissful. I choose to wake up each morning and love the infinite possibilities that should unravel. I choose to have faith, dream and work hard. I choose to walk around and contemplate, allowing beauty to sink in. University is going to be hectic this year, but also so engaging and challenging, because of the amount of research and project-planning we are supposed to be doing. I intended to choose university over work this year, so I go to work two times a week instead of three, and have my weekends to study and plan. I have more time to practise sports which is amazing to liberate that endless charged energy within me. All will be well, I'm sure.


September is teaching me to stay empowered. I'm not the same person I was last year. I see my strengths and become them. I look into the eyes of my learners confidently, with eyes of leadership, in hope to make them feel inspired and safe. I record my weaknesses and mistakes with objectivity instead of helplessness, because I'm not here to survive anymore. I'm here to truly thrive. 


September taught me to be selfless and this is new for me. The definition of selflessness is now refined, and I remind my soul that everything I do, I must do it for a higher purpose. There is no ego to fulfill and nothing to prove. I'm just a learner on to planet, a vessel of life; an instrument. 

I'm so blessed and grateful. I'm expecting October with dreamy eyes and a feathery soul, hoping to make some intentions come to life.

I hope you've all celebrated the winds of change and transformation in September. Now, let October in with vivid intentions.

Thank you, world.

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