a daylight dream

I learned to let go expectations of what is to come. And by letting go, I mean truly living in the present moment and allowing my true identity to prosper and flourish as it extends to the dreams of the future, which are usually positively entwined with challenges and new beginnings. It is letting it go completely, that there is no room for a worrying notion; no space for it to weave in a new detail in the complexity of thoughts and plans. Not giving it a chance to grow and precipitate with time. It is letting go of this urge to want what is not yet granted. It is making peace with the fact that loss is a token of strength to cope, adjust and see beyond the boundaries of the blessings still not bestowed upon me. It is replacing this enfeebling desire with wonder and calmness to accept the bundle of what future holds with steady hands and jaunty eyes. Before I let go, I must understand what I am leaving behind. I need to listen to it wholly; to graciously know my reasons, to pe...

Perhaps the most perplexing emotion I experience is a fear of fear itself. A fear of unsafety. A fear of being lost and alone and drenched in confusion. It didn't bombard me in quite a long time which made me think it will be gone forever, but here it is, creeping up to me slowly, allowing me to tumble and whither like autumn leaves rustling gently with joy, then thrown away by a hostile wind, to be left on the yellow dying grass, abandoned. Yesterday, I started packing my things to head back to Egypt. To see all those bags on the floor attracts a picture of me in the airport, already saying goodbye by the conveyor belt, my eyes clouded with tears and a mind completely blocked and unable to function. Because at this moment, I don't want to leave, and I am afraid. I am afraid of going back to Egypt, not feeling purposeful, of being alone in my room hearing the ticks of the clock midst the silence in the room. I am afraid of not feeling like I belong, not being encompassed b...

Perhaps a year, or even a couple of months ago, a doubt would always visit me. It would whisper to me that my ideals and dreams are only an illusion. This doubt would embody itself in the tribulations that fear cause, telling me that my overwhelming motivation is only an elapsing fervent period of time that shall soon fade. The ideals of love, friendship, hard work, faith, leadership and all of the other unearthly values are truly awakening. I hold them close to my heart and they lead me wherever I go, accompanying my soul, to be the best person I could be each day. However, when interacting with the outside world and dealing with the negativity obscuring the pathways, I tend to feel that this is all a hoax. Despite all this, my intuition is fiery and keeps me afloat, helps me defy the ordinary and seek only what is meaningfully mysterious. Suddenly, some time this summer, after so many months of practice, I finally believe in those ideals. I believe in them so dearly, tha...

I’m back to my olden name which could perhaps surprise you. It even surprises me, but this decision had fallen upon my head in a moment of intense inspiration. To be truthful, I am passionate about what is inscrutable and finding meanings within what I do not understand. Every observable phenomenon is strongly bonded with a glorious metaphor that adds an enlightening glimmer to the world. I believe that my journey is not only to thrive because that’s only a momentary stage of life. On the contrary, it is to explore and dig deeper into what’s cryptic; the spectrum of human perception, giving meaning to the universe. Since I changed my blog to “Thriving One”, I was a little urged to speak only about what is positive and figured out, which is only an instant to be captured after many questions roaming a mind, allowing it to struggle, ponder and observe. I stopped myself from writing and being truly authentic about the discovery of what lies behind the veils of pain and resolv...

It’s a blessing to be near the sea when all I desire to do is escape; escape from the echoes sounding in my mind, colourising accordingly to the hues of my twisted thoughts. All I want is to hear a different noise, one that is flowing and ebbing— the sound of the waves crashing the shore, taking the sand away with it, leaving behind the shells and the debris. I haven’t slept, not a wink. I’m just afraid to wake up and feel that way again so I just keep consuming those thoughts until they fade away and at least at night, there is no reality to blend in— only the void of darkness it could seep away into. I even wish they were definitive thoughts, but they’re treacherously spun into a haze and I’m not sure I can set them apart. At some hour, I leave the bed exhaustingly, trotting anxiously away. Leaving home, I see the sky so brilliantly embracing day break, and it allows a soft smile to stretch generously, giving my face a different feel. However, not even this can light a s...

I’m so sorry that July is now saying goodbye, for it’s been such a felicitous month. I’m always filled with a subtle sorrow when those summer months pass by, because they’re always so transformative in a distinctive way— a transformation filled with the air of joy, careless laughter and company, things I usually lack in the other months. So, July had been all about me practising being a child, despite turning twenty just a couple of days ago. I celebrated my birthday heartily this time, unlike last year . With and without my sister, I experienced resilience of staying in the present moment, engulfing it with all it has to offer. I’m immensely grateful for this, because my anxiety is perishing— I feel it saying goodbye after it had haunted me for so many years. Its impact had been profound and I’m thankful for what it has taught me, now I’m just looking for different challenges to overcome the coming years, to dive deep into the subconscious of a human mind. I’m galvanised...

On the night of the 27th of July 2018, a beautiful occurrence met our Earth: the lunar eclipse, the longest eclipse in the 21st century. It was the very first time for me to see one, with a bright awareness and sheer love for the universe. I didn’t get to see the eclipse from the start, since it was below the horizon. I spent the night in the balcony, with gracility, expecting the glossy arrival of our moon. All at once, a shadow appeared, with a reddish hue on the left-hand side. It took my by surprise, to see the moon looking so different, to witness a phenomenon so natural and reigned by the truthful secrets of the universe. I spent most of the night watching the moon regaining its silvery fullness, feeling my heart swell after it had been tightened with its shadowed disappearance. It swelled with gratitude and awe; my sister by side, speaking in terms of poetry. The moon was adorned by Mars and its companions; Saturn, Jupiter and Venus. There were countless satellite...

a We all go through some family issues in our lives, it’s one of the most common social and psychological disintegration present in our communities. We don’t all experience them in their utmost severe degrees, but they’re present because family is the one social institution that is affected by mostly everything occurring outside of it, which is fairly stressful and challenging. I’ve decided to open up a little about my own family issues. I’ve had them, as a kid, and they weren’t easy to tolerate. Maybe as a child, I didn’t feel it because children are always characterised by such a graceful resilience when facing trauma and so on. However, as I grew up, it all came back to me as these issues kept surfacing and with full awareness. Questions kept reoccurring:  why me? how to stop this? is it my fault? do I deserve this?  The thing is, I wasn’t mature enough to answer those questions mindfully, and no one was there to help me answer them. But now, after I’ve gone th...

One of the most surprising periods in life is when you finally discover your purpose. It’s usually this epiphany-like moment in which you realise what you’ve been born for— your passions seem to connect, your past holds memories to join dots with and the future seems more lucent. After taking my time observing such a human experience, I’ve come to believe that our purposes cannot be solely based on materialistic and realistic missions. Yes, they are requisite to sustain success but I see that people take it too far from where it should stand. We set goals to purchase apartments, get a job or a promotion and keep working arduously for that, yet, we don’t stop. Hard work guarantees success most of the time, but it doesn’t grant happiness. We confuse those goals and promise others that we will be happy when we achieve them, but dissatisfaction sets in eventually, and we keep digging on and on for more. We need those realistic goals. We need to prove ourselves and make a diffe...

I spent a sleepless night, which rarely happens to me, in a rosy July. The warm room air is as pink as a night rose, its petals enclosed primly, not allowing any exposure or light to peek through. I spend the last moments of the night seeing what lies in the colours of the dark and the approaching sun rays, and I am inspired and alive. I’ve never decided to surrender sleep before, but it’s a new beginning. A new discovery, unravelling what the darkness has to offer. It’s a time to see the pictures swarming in my mind, to make sense of the surroundings, to build a home of grounding realisations, to keep going no matter how unclear and messy it is. And dearest, perhaps the best part, is watching you sleep. Your eyes closed, your brows relaxed, arching beautifully across the horizon of your forehead. I look at it, how it wrinkles and softens as you speak, even when you stay silent. With your eyes closed, you’re like a cosmos, bursts of thoughts orbiting the inside of your min...