a daylight dream

I learned to stay strong in 2019. I learned to keep hope in my heart despite feeling my worst. I learned to say "I love you" when it felt right. I learned to forgive, accept, surrender and let go. My heart softened in 2019 with all of the challenges and hard times. My heart learned to cry and listen to sadness earnestly. My heart came back to life again. Thank you, dearest 2019. January Implementing a personal development project at school and watching it inspire everyone. Learning to rest and take care of myself after experiencing a severe burn out. Struggling with emptiness but never giving up on hope. Watching the mulberry trees sprout tiny little emerald leaves. Learning to reach success slowly, not all at once. Standing in front of 50-60 teachers telling them about my work for the very first time. Bus rides to school whilst the sunrise. Getting in touch with my soulmate after months of disconnection, talking about our fears, sadness and c

The icy wings bellow from the south, and the sombre clouds come sweeping overhead, obscuring the gentle moonlight’s glow. I’ve woken up quite early today and the first sound I hear is that of the winds, and I realise how unbearably cold I am, my feet stoned and frozen and my body longing for warmth to hold. Yet, with those unsettling phenomena showcased before me, there is a love kindling in my heart. I cannot explain it nor even try to, but the corners of my little home are safe enough to protect me and all of a sudden, this feels intensively gratifying. I’ve learned that when gratitude greets the heart, it ought to be greeted back and held warmly, instead of questioned. December teaches me to go back to myself. All year, I try different roads and wear different costumes of different selves on the pathway towards my dreams. Perhaps, this year, I decided to be in charge, lead, raise my voice and conquer my insecurities in the name of becoming a leader. I have gone a lo

We are lying on the grass in a still, icy, December morning. We do not talk but just lay there, synchronicity binding our hearts. We take the time to feel our eyes watching the crimson clouds turn more vibrant with every bit the sun takes towards our horizon, and my hands are cold, and I cannot feel my face. Yet, I’ve never felt so warm in your loving, all-encompassing arms. I don’t know why I chose you, dearest. I don’t know why I chose to love you and open my heart to you— tell you about my deepest flaws and insecurities, those weird anxieties and incomprehensible fears. I don’t know why I chose to hold your hand and bury my smiling face into your chest. All I can say is that you allowed me to love you despite everything else, which means the world. You told me to love you despite the distance, time and obstacles that might face us, and that was like giving me the sun in my hands, and I don’t know what to do with this ever-illuminating glow. I have always wanted this. I

Good morning dearest ones! I am writing this to you on an icy morning on my way to school and I realised that it’s been quite a lengthy time without posting anything on this blog, which is quite saddening. I do love writing but I pulled myself away from it deliberately the last couple of weeks in order to discover the purpose behind it all. So, how has it been? I had had a great time, perhaps quite immersed in university-work, but I managed, thankfully. Even though my day was packed, I did manifest abundance to my time and it always felt quite enough. That was very reassuring indeed. Why didn’t I write? Hmm, most probably, it’s because my soul was not introspective enough. In university and school, I am constantly putting myself out there, outside of my comfort zone, acting like an enthusiastic leader, sending off sparks of passion and energy. I’ve had so much energy to release with my work and the kind of conversations that I have with others. I was acting like an ext

Today, November is bidding us goodbye. The ethereal blue skies are emitting an everglow, the sunshine warm and soothing as winter sets in and colourises our hearts with a uniqueness so staggering and charming. I always feel winter setting in this month. The skies get dusky purple and the sun rays more lenient and gentle. November means sweaters and mornings spent with fingers wrapped around a hot mug in the darkness. Perhaps that’s why I always feel unease in November, because it’s when I wake up to greet the morning and find the sky so dark and lonely, inflicting hostility in my heart. There were so many days this November where I felt questionably alone and lost just because of the late sunrises and having to head outside without the light and the stars twinkling so far away. But I tried my best to feel at home, even with the darkness. November taught me a lot. It brought me inwards and allowed me to examine so much of what brings me and others down with self-imposed

I caught you. I caught you overthinking, analysing and connecting those far-apart dots of your life. I caught you feeling lost, scared and anxious about your future. I caught you not knowing where you’re going. You’re not alone, trying to make sense of your life. In fact, at one point, all of us experience this uncertainty. Those thoughts may visit us every few days or weeks and they leave us with this draining discomfort. But I caught you thinking that way every single day and let’s face it, it’s not doing you any good. This fear and nervousness regarding your future is not exactly uplifting you or making you focused on the present moment. It’s distracting, unsettling and even..  depressing . The light, at this very uncertain moment, is your dream. That dream of who you want to be in the future; your personality, the clothes you’d wear, the way you’d speak, the work you’d do, the friends you would have and the place you find yourself so drawn to. That ideal

I stand in our balcony, caressing the growing plants and look ahead. The sky is dusky purple and the sun is glowing in a burning shade of crimson. I look at you, standing so near, our sweaters brushing each other, and I can feel every spark they create on this cold beloved November morning. I look at you because I’m proud of your growth. I’m proud of your timid dreams that you have decided to speak out loud despite the uncertainties. There were times, when it was all so risky and doubtful, but you decided to go for it anyway. You were determined to test the mercifulness of our universe and the way it is perfectly capable of loving us so dearly. You trusted your beating heart after neglecting it for so long. You paired your passion with a dexterous practice that got us all the way to where we are. Where are we now, dearest gardener? We are in the gardens you have planted with your own visions. We are looking out on vast green fields and feel the crisp, cool air brushing ou

Lately, I’ve been observing people around me, especially adults. I can conclude that many of the ones around me struggle to keep their lives bright and beautiful because of allowing the demands of the modern world to sweep them off their feet. Many of us have become like machines, not allowing our own discerning to shape what we think is most contingent and suitable. We are humans. We can never be machines. We were not born to receive inputs from the world and let them program us without will, because as you grown and adult, you start to have a unique perception and voice regarding what suits you most. There are so many ways you can eliminate that machine-like lifestyle and start perceiving the world with an eminent glow that makes you more fulfilled, happy and human. Here are 8 ways I think could make a huge difference to your life. :) Practice Gratitude E veryday, pick a few moments to list things you are grateful. It could be your parents, friends, laughter,