a daylight dream

I stand in our balcony, caressing the growing plants and look ahead. The sky is dusky purple and the sun is glowing in a burning shade of crimson. I look at you, standing so near, our sweaters brushing each other, and I can feel every spark they create on this cold beloved November morning. I look at you because I’m proud of your growth. I’m proud of your timid dreams that you have decided to speak out loud despite the uncertainties. There were times, when it was all so risky and doubtful, but you decided to go for it anyway. You were determined to test the mercifulness of our universe and the way it is perfectly capable of loving us so dearly. You trusted your beating heart after neglecting it for so long. You paired your passion with a dexterous practice that got us all the way to where we are. Where are we now, dearest gardener? We are in the gardens you have planted with your own visions. We are looking out on vast green fields and feel the crisp, cool air brushing ou...

Lately, I’ve been observing people around me, especially adults. I can conclude that many of the ones around me struggle to keep their lives bright and beautiful because of allowing the demands of the modern world to sweep them off their feet. Many of us have become like machines, not allowing our own discerning to shape what we think is most contingent and suitable. We are humans. We can never be machines. We were not born to receive inputs from the world and let them program us without will, because as you grown and adult, you start to have a unique perception and voice regarding what suits you most. There are so many ways you can eliminate that machine-like lifestyle and start perceiving the world with an eminent glow that makes you more fulfilled, happy and human. Here are 8 ways I think could make a huge difference to your life. :) Practice Gratitude E veryday, pick a few moments to list things you are grateful. It could be your parents, friends, laughter, ...

By nature, I’m an idealist, which means, I direct my whole heart and mind towards an ideal in which morality, human rights, development and positive change is sustained. From a young age, I have constructed the world upon that ideal and chose to let it stay that way. I know many people who are idealists, and it’s such a pleasure to get to know them, for this is when our individual, unique visions click to further integrate our ideals and make them more meaningful and worthy of fighting for. My idealism doesn’t mean I’m a perfectionist. Yes , I value hard work, but I do not ever focus on the results of work and effort. The process of creating something, understanding concepts and putting them into action is far more rewarding to me that achieving excellent results. So, I may exert a lot of effort understanding something deeply, but when it comes to the final execution, I may not do things perfectly. I keep the bigger picture in mind but the details always slip and ruin some of...

Just a little over a year ago, I would ride the bus to school. I would take a seat near the window, put my headphones on and stare at the changing scenes, as October skies flooded with clouds and delicate sunlight. I’d look into them and lapse into deep analysis of where I was heading. I didn’t know where I was heading. The map had the coordinates, the map had every detail.. but I still didn’t know where I was going. In that bus, with music in my ears, I’d breakdown to tears from panic. I’d remember the things I want to do to reach my ideals and feel so small before them. I’d cry fearing to fail. I’d cry feeling lost and confused because I don’t know what I’m doing. I just want to do right— oh world, please let me do it right this time. On the bus I’d remember that I’m all alone. I had just lost connection to ones that mean to me most and my heart was empty. It was struggling to feel safe in the most safe places, because it was lonely. It wanted to hear some beautiful ...

I’ve been absent and I’m sorry. I’ve received some messages from many of you asking me to keep posting and it truly mesmerised me. I’m so grateful for your love and trust. Thank you. :) How has it been lately? Just as I had envisioned it. Everything is falling into place slowly then all at once. Those dreams I dreamt on those pine-covered roads in September, walking as the autumn air brushed my cheeks— they are all coming true. My health, happiness, empowerment, faith in God and selflessness— all is in sync. I am quite fascinated by how miraculous life really is when led by love. But here it comes— a glimpse of doubt. I look around me and see those adults at work and university. I hear them complaining. I watch them talk drearily about how difficult things are. I watch them sarcastically make comments about reality and feel their spite and negativity pierce my soul. Will I end up like them in a few years? Will I lose this love I hold in my heart? I keep asking myself that, ...

We are lying down, face-to-face, and you’ve woken up before me. The moment my eyes open, I can see your inscrutable look, gazing at me like an inextinguishable flame of love. I spend a few moments looking into those beautiful, dark eyes of yours, the distance between them an infinite dimension I could never decipher. Your long, graceful fingers find themselves entwined between my hair, cupping my face with such gentleness that breaks my heart open. My chest inflates with warm air and those little molecules vibrate, touching my ribs, and every exhale feels like a release of a weight so heavily alien. I close my eyes, feeling the tears sting the round ends of my irises, slowly cascading down my cheeks like a soft, blue stream. I bury my face into your chest and feel your arms hold me. My skin touches yours, and I feel held safe, protected and whole. My body becomes as light as a rose, perfectly placed, fitting into your own. Your skin has found a way to hold me without being...

September was transformational and I could write and write about how it turned my world around. Everything I had been experiencing since the beginning of the year was leading me to this relief and lightness that is taking over me. It was beautiful to be alive in September. It didn't start so joyfully, though. The first days of September was marked by tears and sobs of helplessness because I felt so low. I can't explain why. I just didn't feel like myself at all. However, I found access to a stream of knowledge through a book called Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza, which guided me to know so much about our universe and so many fundamental beliefs that are crucial to uncover the nature of our humanity. Through this book, I went deep into my soul and released pain and let in dreams and selfless ambitions that make me soar.   Before my flight back to Egypt, I worked on being more intimate and close to my sister. I apologised for my distance, studied w...

-on 15.09.2019- Autumn has deeply embodied itself into my heart, as I consciously and heartily observed those yellow-crimson crisp leaves fall on our planet’s ground. Some of those leaves even fall on my shoulder, my hands have held them and sensed their wrinkled surface, dry round the edges, full of forsaken life in their very core. Because we are a reflection of who we think we are, I was deeply afraid of autumn. How would it be like to see life saying goodbye? Melancholic, of course. How would it be like to wake up and find it dark and the air scented frosty from the cold? The thought alone made my heart recoil in shivers. But today I am heading on that airplane back to Egypt. I cried, perhaps more out of love and gratitude than fear. I cried remembering every moment, every wisp of love lacing the entirety of that wistful summer. I cried as I embraced my sister and mother. My heart collapsed onto itself and it felt right. I remembered the pine trees and all of t...

It’s late into the night and you’re not at home but I’m in our little plant-laden balcony, my eyes fixated on the vast space before me; on those little glittery stars flickering in haphazard frequencies that I am very fond of— aligning with the very depth of my heart. And it’s okay that you’re not at home. Dearest, I respect this distance. We’ve been distant for a long time and it didn’t weaken our unearthly bond. We have agreed upon the notion of us treading disparate paths, yet always bound by love. So it’s okay, my dear.  You never have to be here so that we can be together. I place my hands on my heart. I close my eyes and allow the canvas of our sky to lay still and silent in my mind. Gently, I place my head on the pillow and drift into a mystical sleep, filled with peace and quiet, breaths that leave my chest to let go fears and bring in love. The first thing I wake up to is the sound of the blackbirds chirping against the faint peachy rays of light emerging ...

A few days ago, I woke up and went directly outside of the bed, like I always do. But as my feet touched the ground, I felt something different in the way I was moving. I went to the sofa and closed my eyes—  it was happening again. My eyes started tearing up as I sensed this swelling, the approaching brain fog, this feeling of helplessness and hopelessness creeping to my mind. I didn’t want to face it. I wished I could just go back to bed and rewind the night because the day is long and how would I ever be able to make this day beautiful like this, in  this  state? I closed my eyes and tried to remember love. It didn’t work. I spent an hour researching quick fixes to remove the bloat, to improve my mood, to make me feel better. Because today, I want to love the people around me. I want to think of something other than just this stupid sensation of not being well because I was tired of it. I was sick of it. I cried again because I was so scared to fac...