Recent changes.
These past few weeks have been miraculously amazing, and finally, I got the change I've been craving for a long time. And to be honest, those little adventures make life incredibly worthwhile.
Firstly, I have changed both emotionally and physically. I'm no longer so anxious about those minute details of the future and instead, letting things go accordingly to God's will. I have shifted my focus on the present moment and the little joys that purify my heart from the inside. An illustration would be that I haven't studied at all this winter vacation and I don't feel so nervous about it. I mean, what is the point of reading textbooks you're not enjoying? I am not interested in reading about management or economical resources to be honest, and my past self would have made me put my nose in those books, wasting time doing nothing beneficial. I'm taking my time relishing the sunshine in the balcony, writing poems and chapters of my story, reading some nice books and listening to music. Of course, that is extremely unproductive but I don't have to push myself to this kind of productivity. That's a huge change for me and I'm rather proud of it.
Also, I've been eating better and my relationship with food is becoming stronger and healthier. I increased my intake from roughly 700 calories to 1200! I haven't eaten that much since I was 15 I guess, so that's progress. I'm aiming on maintaining a daily intake of 1100-1500 calories to boost and repair my metabolism and damaged reproductive and endocrine system. I kind of feel my hormones are getting back on track these days.. I'm not expecting to menstruate for a few months still, but I'm definitely tuning in with the cycle and that makes me feel so grateful and amazing. :)
I don't know why, but doing a lot of cardio these days makes me exhausted and I nearly fainted last Saturday when I decided to run for two hours despite the fact that I ate a huge piece of oriental cake (basboosa) beforehand. My interpretation is that my body is building itself up and the energy is incorporated in the process of tissue and hormonal repair and extensive periods of exercise disrupt the way everything works. That's why I'll quit running for a while and have walks instead, just until everything returns back to normal. I hope I'm interpreting everything correctly. :)
My dad and I already started talking about plans for the summer and seeing the weather getting beautifully warmer and the skies becoming royally blue, I cannot stop the thrill from going down my spine thinking about those aspirational May vibes and the jasmines fragrance in the bushes.. It's so beautiful to be alive in sunshine. :)
Tomorrow I start college, and I want to be more open this semester, more friendly and helpful. I am looking forward to my morning walks around the college garden, listening to music and mocking our mean professors.
I don't want to regret my life, ever again.
Firstly, I have changed both emotionally and physically. I'm no longer so anxious about those minute details of the future and instead, letting things go accordingly to God's will. I have shifted my focus on the present moment and the little joys that purify my heart from the inside. An illustration would be that I haven't studied at all this winter vacation and I don't feel so nervous about it. I mean, what is the point of reading textbooks you're not enjoying? I am not interested in reading about management or economical resources to be honest, and my past self would have made me put my nose in those books, wasting time doing nothing beneficial. I'm taking my time relishing the sunshine in the balcony, writing poems and chapters of my story, reading some nice books and listening to music. Of course, that is extremely unproductive but I don't have to push myself to this kind of productivity. That's a huge change for me and I'm rather proud of it.
Also, I've been eating better and my relationship with food is becoming stronger and healthier. I increased my intake from roughly 700 calories to 1200! I haven't eaten that much since I was 15 I guess, so that's progress. I'm aiming on maintaining a daily intake of 1100-1500 calories to boost and repair my metabolism and damaged reproductive and endocrine system. I kind of feel my hormones are getting back on track these days.. I'm not expecting to menstruate for a few months still, but I'm definitely tuning in with the cycle and that makes me feel so grateful and amazing. :)
I don't know why, but doing a lot of cardio these days makes me exhausted and I nearly fainted last Saturday when I decided to run for two hours despite the fact that I ate a huge piece of oriental cake (basboosa) beforehand. My interpretation is that my body is building itself up and the energy is incorporated in the process of tissue and hormonal repair and extensive periods of exercise disrupt the way everything works. That's why I'll quit running for a while and have walks instead, just until everything returns back to normal. I hope I'm interpreting everything correctly. :)
My dad and I already started talking about plans for the summer and seeing the weather getting beautifully warmer and the skies becoming royally blue, I cannot stop the thrill from going down my spine thinking about those aspirational May vibes and the jasmines fragrance in the bushes.. It's so beautiful to be alive in sunshine. :)
Tomorrow I start college, and I want to be more open this semester, more friendly and helpful. I am looking forward to my morning walks around the college garden, listening to music and mocking our mean professors.
I don't want to regret my life, ever again.
Comments
Post a Comment