a daylight dream

what would happen if I disappeared for a few months, truly disappeared, and worked on internalising every beautiful, whimsical thought into my very being? what if after those few months I erupted like an everlasting blossom— glowing in peaceful reverence for life, withstanding the cruelty of paradoxes? what if I became seen, my body showing signs of a soul who has fallen in love with the humble ordinary, frolicking about the greenery with a sparkling smile that has forgotten what it’s like to fade? that is what I pray for. I pray to heal my body and heart that I truly forget what it was like to be in such pain. alas, it is earth, not heaven. still, I never cease to believe that heaven can be created on earth. I know that we as humans can transcend all futile suffering into an equanimous acceptance. my body holds so much pressure, fear and difficult memories, even if I don’t remember much of it in my mind. my body hurts, and I feel like I’m carrying mountains of fears I once felt, cripp...

hello, 2025. I welcome you in my arms, receiving your brand new beginning where I can rewrite the story of my life path. here I am, a woman in so much need of something so terribly new so that I can forget everything about my past and start as someone new. yes, someone new. that is not a typo. there’s so much we need to change around here and I am onto it, make little baby steps as we slide into this year’s seasons. despite all that is there to change, I am grateful that the gift of visualising the year and crafting new intentions is not one of the things on my list. that could stay, along with creating vision boards for all of the beautiful dreams floating in the landscape of my heartful desires. I wish you could see my vision board. it involves a splash of watercolours, piano melodies, the dream of raising a kitten and starting my journey in gardening. also, a travelling spree to where there is a calling sea and perhaps, an umrah. my dreams are nascent, but their vibe are preparing m...

here I am, free at last from the chains that held me back. writing this post takes me back to the days when I thought 2024 would be sweetly special and liberating. it is a sacred year, I believe. 2023 was a pyramidal year, for sure, in which many foundations were laid upon golden grounds. the bird in me has finally found home. forsooth, 2024 is a year of heartfully receiving the gift of love. by love, I mean sacred, universal, soulful love. that one that emanates from heavenly scapes, a love that makes eyes shimmer and a face emit some kind of ethereal light. I truly pray that 2024 bestows upon my existence a halo so profound. a halo of peacefulness, and the light of being in the in-betweenness of being and doing.  I shall list out my intentions here. I cannot wait to truly reflect upon it with tears in my eyes in a year. I’m sure it won’t be anything less than extraordinarily beautiful and captivating. I intend to be in heartful fearlessness. I’ve lived most of my life in fear of ...

today, I turn twenty-five. there's so much to say about everything that has happened this year and now that I come to reflect, I find that it has been a year of so much build-up, and quite unexpectedly, breakdown. it was tumultuous, tricky and inexplicably transformative in that way. a year of making so many mistakes, failing at most of my endeavours just to know the truest cause. despite its turbulent nature, I am grateful for my twenty-fourth year and what it has taught me, and I am ready to unpack all the lessons in time. I feel that all my twenty-fourth year prepared me for what is to come; to the point where I can make newer intentions based on what I had learned. I feel I've changed, not sure for better or for worse, but some sacrifices had been made. some trade-offs have been encouraged to serve the purpose of wholeness. some dreams are being replaced with more grounded ones, instead of those that are lofty, sky-high and rather mountainously unattainable. energy is being...