recent things i'm grateful for.

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spring has been shaping up the entirety of the world’s state these days. so many blossoms and sunshine to make up for the dreadful, deathly winter where I cocooned in crevices, haunted by all the darkest memories. as my cat bathes in the ray of sun entering through my balcony this morning, it crossed my mind to write about what I’m grateful for, for the sake of documentation.

here are a few recent things I am grateful for that have made me feel so alive and connected to myself and the world these days.



my cat’s love— Skyla is becoming such a cutie pie. it baffles me how close we are to each other and share so many traits. she is shy, sensitive and loves plants so much. she currently likes to share her mornings and nights with me, purring gently and requesting cuddles. she also visits my room at night and sleeps by my side. it’s beautiful to see how much she transformed; from being so scared to embracing love and being seen. it’s truly wholesome.



walking in the green blue outside— I didn’t leave the house much this winter, especially December and January. it depressed me to see the barren trees and short daylight hours take away all the loveliness of the parks I spent hours frolicking about. but, those days are back again! I am back to those 10k steps, runs and bicycle rides, daydreaming and contemplating God’s astounding creation. these moments truly resurrect my heart and heal me from the inside. I am so grateful for those free, humane spaces that prioritise people’s happiness. 



no longer sharing on social media— I used to always share the beauty I find on my social media, just to share those memories as well as document them. however, I’ve been recently having so many health problems that keep coming out of nowhere. it crossed my mind that perhaps, sharing my life on social media could open a door for some negative energy from other people, who might judge my life when they don’t see the big picture. so, I decided to stop. or share only with my closest friends that I trust with all my being. of course, one of the pleasures of taking pictures is sharing them, but I hope to find more creative ways to do so without endangering my own wellbeing. that decision, anyhow, brought me much more peace and at least gave me the security of knowing that I am prioritising and protecting my life.



eating protein— after those health issues and some research, I decided to eat protein again. so you know that I currently deal with a very strong case of IBS, bloating, puffiness, hypothyroidism and hormonal imbalance. a few years ago, I was almost vegetarian, eating mostly raw foods since my body couldn’t tolerate digesting cooked food. however, with my new medication, I decided to take a step forward and go back to the keto diet again, which was kind of great for my health back in 2015-2018. after some research, I found out that a protein deficiency can truly mess up with everything in my body, and so I am exerting some effort to eat chicken, meat, more vegetables and supplmenting with a protein powder to help me heal and balance my hormones.



spring outings— those past few days were filled with spring outings with family which was immensely energising. I realised that I truly love making memories and those moments just nourished this part of me. perhaps I could share some of those memories to remember them deeply and honour them wholeheartedly.



I am truly grateful that my gratitude list is growing. before, I used to be grateful for a set of things that kept recurring and never changing. now, my list is different, more holistic, and has a little bit of self-love in it. for this, I am eternally grateful.


going with grace in an inscrutable world.

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