Intoxicated war in silence

     She is grateful for all that comes in the way with the wind that brings chills to her spine. Her soul became so infuriated by the idea of healing and removing the toxicity, that it announces a horrific war at times. A battle is so intoxicating in its dark beauty, the outcomes are as pure as they  could be , but the process is extremely harsh to endure. 

    It seems like her spirit still has a connection with those hard times, an unbreakable bond that binds her to the lifetime spent crying and breaking down, that ties her up with the ugly parts of her that her mind enjoys replaying to make her suffer. On the other hand,  she now possesses  the power to stand up for herself and cut off any source of toxicity or behavior she can’t tolerate, a strength that was created after their departure. 

    The mindfulness and the possibilities she fought for are priceless to be hindered with again by the wrong hands, to be excused for a pathetic reason which is a feeling that is  a two-ended weapon. She always thought that by now it would’ve been better, more peaceful, she knows she is lucky to escape the prison they put her in, but she is angered by the fact that there’s a place her mind and spirit can’t exit just yet or maybe they don’t know how. When the time comes for another collapsing war of uncertainty, panic , grief and resentment eats her up, she brings herself back to places she wishes she can be in, people she wants to surround herself with and opportunities that she seeks to achieve. 

      Maybe those scenarios include, the cliff-top above the wide , blue ocean, or maybe under the clear sky in between daisies in a meadow or maybe a place her darker side feels most empowered in. It’s all just a complicated situation, unexplainable to all , yet she wishes that she is the only one who can comprehend it, as she sometimes remain a mystery to her own self. 

      One lesson she also learnt was to have faith in herself, to embrace those confusing entanglements within her and to have peace till she may find the additional amount of love that a certain someone might give her. For now, she has the love she ignites flicks with every now and then, as she finds the little details intriguing.

       As she welcomes the little child in her and the young adults she thrives to be , that she wants to build her right and alone. All in all, not what we wish for will always come, no amount of conformation will settle the ongoing fire inside , no amount of people would make up for the vacancies that other left. Be the little light that shines your dark sky. 

    Be the reason you regain trust and faith in a better tomorrow and more mindfulness. Thrive and even thank those who hurt you , without their numbing pain , the haziness you faced , you would’ve never encountered so much potential that you didn’t know you have.