flicks of fire within a spirit

   

         With every flick of fire disappearing into thin air, her mind wanders off to the memories related to her recent place and time. Every song, smell,place seem to be a reminder of what a naive person can suffer from as a result of loving the wrong person. That with every belief came a high price to pay, endless nights, absence of emotions that makes you look dead. It’s similar to the dark forest with no guidance, or a raging ocean that has waves so high that it devours all that in its way. 

   All what people can see is all the courage she mastered up to cover up the hurricane inside her . That willpower she recomposes as her other side awaits the anguishing moment to heartlessly torture them all. It’s like she wants to be away when it all happens, yet be able to hear their screams, feel the ground shake from how unmercifully she decided to put justice in to action and in the place of murder. You can see the glow in her eyes by the fire pit and under the visible moonlight, that glow is followed by goosebumps and a shake, it’s like she is falling down, she is loosing. Under the warm sunrise , by the tip of the cliff, behind her a meadow of daisies. 

        As she slowly walked through the delicate flowers her arms brushing against their petals, she indulges the warm and peaceful sensation roaming her soul. This feeling bubbles her up as she observes the letters laying on her lap and the faint smile appearing on her face. The words written in these letters are the realist thread to her present and past selves. Her grace led  her to the conclusion that expressing her hidden self and her journey towards healing would help nurture her soul. It can provide her with guidance towards the road of love, faith, acceptance and grief that is not accompanied with pain, to be more exact towards her new life. 

      

      The more she wanders off to her surroundings, the more grounded she feels, the lesser the blaze would hurt her, burn her or eat up parts of her. The bitterness she feels mixed with the estranged urge to be away from her current self always lead to her resentment from her current situation, from the love and support of those around her, to the hating more parts of her that need to be loved and to more tears of agony as she felt her heartbeats rise rather than a smile of joy or happy tears. Now as the sun sets, her armor is taken off and is laid down along with her letters, her belongings and most importantly the old version of herself. 

       Now she rises to take in more tenderness for herself rather than just others, now she wears that silly smile around as she twirls in her own skin. Now she doesn’t care if she is with her partner or not, now she gives in to the sound of life’s music, to the hidden tunes of nature. Now she silences the deafening screams and begs of the past,now she walks past the gates of her hell in pride and strength, with her signature smirk that is part of her identity.