July's Joyce!

Before reflecting upon July's beauty, I want to thank you all for choosing this space and sharing this love. Truly, receiving your feedback and comments make my day and inspire me to write more content that you can deeply relate to, to somehow add value to your life. Thank you!

Today is the last day of July, which is somehow fascinating. Time goes by so fast for the first 8 months of the year, personally. Let me emphasise a belief of mine, which states that we are all connected in a way or another. July's energy was playful and risky, wasn't it? Observing close ones around me, I noticed that we are collectively saying "yes" to more things, as a gateway towards more adventures and experiences. Perhaps some of you did not have any realistic risks, yet you may have delved into mesmerising emotions and feelings, which is counted as a risk, as well.

In July, I was reborn. Truly. I may preach about the idea of letting go but this is seemingly something that I wasn't destined to do. But I did it. I let go. I faced my issues strongly with a firm grip. I let go thinking about the outcomes of my actions and this premonition that it might not work out and just headed for it anyway in such graceful playfulness. I faced my health issues. I faced my family's criticisms. I spoke louder and more confidently in order to assert my presence. In July, I somehow got into endless fights and conflicts to get to where I want and what I believe is right, which is so freeing. I never thought I could do that. I never thought I had the power to actually assert things and.. I am simply grateful for how it is turning out.

July was a month of being one with my body through exercise. Every single day, I'd start my evening with a challenging stretch and a quick dance around the living room. When my sister and I would go to the park for a walk, we would run around with our over-splits and twirls, not caring about the impressions we made, haha. It was beautiful. To be out there in the open air is like freedom for me and being enclosed in a small space, around four walls, makes me feel imprisoned. Every time I get out, I remember to be grateful for this breath of fresh air and the way it circulates around me to make me feel alive. Also, we planned a trip to the mountains in Zakopane and hiked every day. I could really walk forever, without stopping, roaming around the globe.

I learned to love the rain in July. You know how I love the sun, how it makes me bend towards the light. It was a spiritual practice, to understand that the rain is teaching me to calm down, to stop wanting to change what is, to stop searching for the light when it's just behind the clouds. It was beautiful, turning me into a whole new person.

Regarding work, I did so almost every day. I learned a lot about holistic learning and finished off my Enneagram project plan. I actually have exciting news to reveal in a month or so, to start another journey in life, career-wise. The most challenging thing about reading theories is the lack of insight on how to actually apply them in a considerably effective manner. However, this is why I have decided to start now, to gain the experience and privilege of failure whilst there are less responsibilities and more time to actually learn. I am aware of the consequences but still choosing to risk it anyway. How rebellious it is, to just head for your ideas so restlessly, aiming high but also expecting small steps of success. But that's okay. Last year at work taught me not to aim for success so swiftly. I won't forget that moment when around forty teachers, so much older and experienced than I am, were applauding me for some kind of project I executed at school. Yes, I wanted success, but it didn't feel right. It wasn't my time, I wasn't ready. I need baby steps and incremental development to achieve a stable, solid ground. It was a powerful insight and lesson and perhaps I am not aiming to succeed at all next year, in all of those endeavours. I just want to learn and gain as much experience as possible to build up on as time passes.

I am so thankful for the people in my life. I am grateful for my family, whose crookedness I have come to appreciate. I am thankful for my sister, who is teaching me to speak louder and not be afraid of hurting other people's feelings and still do so in the name of love. I am grateful for my soulmate, who does not push me away, even when I am vulnerable and wrapped around the intensity of my thoughts. I am grateful for my dearest friends who support me.

I am grateful for the universe for giving me this life. Thank you. It is an honour to reflect the light of the sun and exist.

Thank you, July.