Self-Care Rituals.

To all of you who are currently on the road to self-love, I'd like to tell you this: it gets easier.

It really does, and it's a fact. But, it takes some determination and self-actualisation. It's not something that happens overnight, and perhaps not a state you could reach for good. There will always be lapses and minor break downs because, it was once a habit to hate yourself and put it down. It was once something deeply ingrained in your mind and body and we, as biological organisms, need to give ourselves time to heal and get cured.

It's difficult to ascertain the fact that some time one year and a half ago, I hated every particle of myself. To be honest, I liked some of my personality traits but still, I was putting myself down all the time. Looking back at my old pictures and journal entries, I marvel at how far I've come. I used to look in the mirror and shred myself into pieces, but in those pictures, I look beautiful.. and I didn't see it. I was somehow, blinded.

My self-love ritual is not something you could see on the internet. It doesn't involve hot baths and eating chocolate. It's all about discipline rather than being too lenient. I know who I am, and with that comes the awareness that being lenient wouldn't be so therapeutic for me because I've got an issue with self-control. I either control myself too much (which brings me comfort) or not at all. But I'd rather stick to controlling myself the right way, rather than losing myself all together.

This summer, I discovered some new ways to actually take care of myself.. ways that are simple but somehow, effective. When I take care of myself, it means that I'm proving the significance of my health which I believe is truly crucial. I'm reading and seeing stories everyday of people regretting their choices when they were younger, and how they discarded their health. This makes me really aware of where to start. 

Basically, I chose two days; Sunday (beginning of the week) and Thursday (end of the week) for my self-care routine. On them, I take my fish oil supplement and increase my thyroxin (hypothyroidism) medication dose for a boost in my metabolism and energy levels. At night, I make sure to put coconut oil on my face and moisturise my body. Also, I use my fluoride gel on my teeth directly before sleeping, to prevent cavities and any future caries. These rituals just give me a feeling that I'm actually exerting some effort to be good to myself. Just the thought of dedicating effort and time for something that would give me long-term benefits stabilises my soul, somehow, giving me balance and reminding me that I'm capable of transforming my life. 

I've added some other rituals that I do daily that I never used to do before. Firstly, I floss every single night and honestly, it makes me feel delighted. Also, I use this Mary Kay chemical-free, all-natural lotion on my face to give my skin some nutrients for the night because I'm always swimming or in the sun, which isn't exactly good for my skin. Something else I've recently started is stretching. I used to do lots of stretching before but when I started university last year, I didn't consider it important anymore because I didn't have so much time for it. But now, it makes me feel pleased to stretch my muscles and remove those bulks. Stretching makes me feel lighter, more flexible and it adds a bit of progress every single day.. because I can do a more straight leap or even a higher oversplit. Overall, it's all healthy. :)

I've got two more rituals that I'm saving for a more detailed post because as you see, it's getting really long. However, I thought I should update you. It's hard work at first, but it's possible. Self-acceptance is not something you seize because it depends on so many factors; illness, hormonal imbalances, mental disorders, social environment.. and so many other pressures around us that shift us away from who we truly are. But day by day, you kind of learn to embrace your importance by actually working and seeking growth. In the end, you improve because the mindset itself has the potential to work wonders.

It's really difficult for me to actually post this because I sound so vain talking about self-importance thereof. But I just have to. I have to let you know that my struggles were not taken for granted. Those awful days (that still keep recurring!) were not meant to last.. even if they used to last for two weeks every single month. Those were hard days. But I was strong, I guess. 

Keep the faith. Keep hoping. Keep grinding. The balance will happen, then you'll be more free.