a daylight dream

Lately, I’ve been feeling a shift within myself. Sudden fierce rejections to certain aspects of day-to-day life, and quite oppositely, sudden and extreme embraces towards ideas I never imagined I’d accept.  Lately, I’ve noticed that I’m making decisions quite differently— it’s mostly intuitive, mostly based on sensations in my body that I cannot but trust, lest I’d really want to decide upon suffering with inexplicable waves of pain. It’s different, it’s not like me— or maybe it is the whole of me. Having always been a plant-eating enthusiast, I know that eating plants is a cardinal part of my day. Yet, it’s certainly different now. I cannot eat other foods as tranquilly as I used to. Hot meals— meat, fish, chicken, frozen vegetables and even packed pasta are foods I cannot get myself to ingest anymore. I’m not saying I like it— sometimes it is quite cumbersome. Yes, I receive a cacophony of inspiration and heavenly sensation with my usual meal of seasonal fruit and fresh vegetables, b

I've always wanted to write something about womanhood, but I was always daunted by the shame of the imperfections of the process of leaving girlhood behind and becoming a woman. Now that I'm almost halfway through my twenty-second year, everything feels different, though quite the same simultaneously. At times, it feels as if I did not grow up and have remained the girl I've always been, but in other times, I do feel like I truly have turned into a woman all of a sudden. I must start off by saying that since I have lived most of my life with my father, the idea of being a woman was rather distant to me. I was raised with a lot of masculine energy, but was still given the feminine roles in the outer world. At home, I was expected to be tough, extremely hard-working, goal-oriented and strong yet, I was still told I was weak being a girl. I was told that I should be protected from the outside world, that I was fragile and soft, in respect to the nature of things. It was really

I'm here to reflect on a part of my healing journey which has created so much abundance and bliss in my life, now that I'm on the other side. Moments like those make you realise how wonderful this life is when you hold on to healing yourself from limiting and unhealthy habits that eat you up on the inside. I want to say that I think I have left my restlessness behind me. What is restlessness? Well, life these days pushes us to extremes. Ambition is contagious, and we were programmed to believe that in order to reach our dreams and goals, we need to always be chasing something. In order to be successful, we need to say "yes" to every single opportunity out there, doing multiple things at the same time, always thinking of what's coming next, never stopping from a moment to reflect and rest from the climb up, to map out the right choices to make.   Honestly, I've fallen into that. I thought it was the right thing to do. I was not always a restless person, but in

I get this inexplicable feeling whenever a year comes to an end, a feeling that is hard to define. Carrying the weight of a whole year on my shoulder, it feels strange to start a new one being the same "me". I believe that change is a blessing, and with every new year comes the opportunity to intend for something different to happen; different experiences, different lessons all leading to personal growth and fulfillment. Most importantly, joy . This reminds me of December 2016, when I was sitting on the balcony in the feeble morning light, begging the world for anything to change. I had just started university and it felt like something was missing. I didn't feel like I belonged. I felt that a part of my heart was longing for something, and it wasn't here. I had nothing to do but just intend for that experience to happen. I intended the new year to bring forth a way to make me grow. Just a few days later, I received news that got me a job, and with this job, I found m

We all start our work-life brimming with hope, energy and excitement to prove ourselves, make a difference and attain success. There is this wonderful feeling which comes with going to work, full of life, dressed your best and greeting everyone with a smile. I always thought that would be the case for everyone, whatever job they were doing. Why would anyone complain about work? What makes it such a traumatic experience? I guess I now know the answer to my questions.   Although I am a part-timer, I have caught many glimpses of some day-to-day realities which cause work to be a nuisance for many. Most of the time, it's not the work itself but the environment. In my case, I have witnessed office politics, gossip, complaints, lack of support, work pressure-- the list could go on and on. Observing and somehow being a part of this, I found how dissatisfying it is to work in an environment which is not inspiring or motivating. I saw how soul-sucking it is to have co-worker

Lately, I’ve been observing people around me, especially adults. I can conclude that many of the ones around me struggle to keep their lives bright and beautiful because of allowing the demands of the modern world to sweep them off their feet. Many of us have become like machines, not allowing our own discerning to shape what we think is most contingent and suitable. We are humans. We can never be machines. We were not born to receive inputs from the world and let them program us without will, because as you grown and adult, you start to have a unique perception and voice regarding what suits you most. There are so many ways you can eliminate that machine-like lifestyle and start perceiving the world with an eminent glow that makes you more fulfilled, happy and human. Here are 8 ways I think could make a huge difference to your life. :) Practice Gratitude E veryday, pick a few moments to list things you are grateful. It could be your parents, friends, laughter,

Greetings, my loved ones. I wanted to update you with how things are going recently, in regards to my journey towards health and wellness, ultimately learning how to take care of my body and its beauty. I mentioned my healing plans here , but I must tell you that they have changed completely. In the middle of June, I did some blood work to see where the problem resides. I presumed that it would be my fluctuating thyroid hormone levels as well as all the other hormones I had problems with. When I got my results, I was surprised to see that my thyroid hormone levels were great, which made me relieved, because it’s so difficult to fix a raging thyroid. The problem was my progesterone. I had extremely low levels, probably the same as three years ago, even though they were better last summer. Despite the frustration, I was also relieved to know the answer and the head-start, to do it all again, perhaps with more clarity. Through my readings, I realised that many women st

I had mixed feelings upon writing this post but I was determined to write everything out so truthfully. Other than that, I am aware that writing my plans and reiterating my journey as a human being does make people feel like they aren’t alone, if they are experiencing similar issues. Many people are, and most of them are hiding within the shadows of their struggles, ashamed to speak up. But speaking up is a part of healing, dearest ones. I must have mentioned the health issues I’ve been facing the past year— the recurring symptoms, bloating, brain fog, disrupted digestion, headaches, etc. I have literally spent every weekend researching on the causes of my problems and found a million answers, but I’m grateful for the research and this open sea of knowledge. There are more opportunities to heal in such a vast basket of probabilities. However, for months, I didn’t heal— and I tried everything. I’m pretty sure it’s my Hashimoto’s thyroiditis flaring up. My intuition