Notions.

My head is always full of ideas; always interdependent upon each other. One dream turns to another, and I find myself in awe realising that they are all actually connected by an element or two, all leading to a more complex version that I could actually link to reality, to what my society needs. And you know what? It's a rather amazing to just reflect upon all that and watch my dedication swerve from one dream to the next.. which leaves me quite overwhelmed because I'd rather set my heart on something eternally.

So if you have read thing blog for a while now, you are certainly aware that I have focused to teaching and education as a career but for a couple of months, I've experienced a mind shift regarding this issue. For starters, I consider myself really incompatible with the idea of following a scheme of things as I usually like to create my own; whether it is a daily routine, diet, studying methods and the list goes on and on. After a few moments with myself I found out that I will never be so good at following the curriculum if I ever were a teacher. It's because like, I always want to do more than what's in the books and I hate to be so exam and curriculum-oriented. I imagined being a teacher who allows for two classes a week for field work and research but unfortunately, that cannot happen. I am too idealistic in that prospect and I have visualised myself anything other than that, and well, it was a total disaster. I do not like to be controlled or reigned with the scarcity of resources, especially time, which proves to be quite inadequate in a teacher's life.

So yes, it's quite confusing for me as it is for anyone who might hear me, especially my parents. I keep shifting my career choices so abruptly but it makes me rather thrilled to find myself discovering the depths of my potentials and dreams so, it's totally okay. However, I did not give up on teaching all together, but I have shifted it into a wider scheme in the field of education.

With a dear friend of mine, we have pondered over how wrecked the student mind is in my society. We saw that the open-mindedness, wit and creativity is completely lacking and it's making it difficult for us to actually change, develop and build a civilisation. I want to be a part of this movement, but I cannot do it in a school when I am still in an organisation driven by narrow-mindedness.. I'd like to do it alone and with a free spirit. I'd like to build an educational institution based on further learning and research where students spend their time passionately learning, using their minds, thinking, feeling, using their whole bodies to actually live the human experience. I'd like to integrate the rationality of science with inspirational emotions, link those two parts of the brain together to bring about a revolution in a student's mind. Our society believes that learning only takes place at school and they cease to realise that we learn everyday; every new emotion, experience.. every single day is a lesson that we need to appreciate and honour. It's an awareness I would like to spread.

This is just a dream-- but wow, am I not a business student? Everything fits so incredulously and everyday, I see some minor changes in how I see myself in the future, but it's okay because it turns out that with every new notion, I am more capable to actually be something in this world. Oh, and I cannot wait to actually start and I know it is some time soon.. 

Very soon, inshaAllah.