an unconditional existence.

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 It’s a new paradigm for me, finding God in gratitude. that used to be a supplement, perhaps the darkness made it much easier to find a glimmer of light in the skies of dawn. now that light is abound, how do I find that particularly special guiding radiance?

it is some skill I’m learning— uncovering layer upon layer of God’s presence in the blessings I’m dipped in. the light of God has become an ocean I’m lost in— all those blessings? all those little moments of the day I have always dreamed of? all this love, all the beauty of home, it’s here between my fingers. and still, I am not used to seeing without turning the lights off.


however, I am aware how that this is now my mission: unconditional gratitude. being grateful without expecting anything in return. before, I used to feel the pain of my sufferings coated by the mild sweetness of my blessings. now, the sweetness of gratitude is not that profound. it has no balmy sensation for my heart is at ease. I see now that indeed, I need not chase the sweetness of the divine or the sacredness of a heart being opened by the pressure of suffering. if God has willed this ease, if God has found my a place to stay in His valleys, then it is my turn to stay here, unconditionally grateful.


how would it be like to live unconditionally? finding God’s serene presence and reverence in not one worldly climb. making it an infinite life— knowing there’s no destination, there’s no dream dearer than death and the truth we shall be found by. that is one heartful presence I pray to forsake many climbs for.


so here is to a new realm: unconditional gratitude and the end of climbs.

going with grace in an inscrutable world.

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