before sunrise.

 

When it’s December and sunrise takes its time, the before of waking means so much. The aloneness of stillness, in my room, in the gentle radiating waves of night light doing the best it could do to seep these words out of my heart.

I see myself more clearly now. I see the aching heartbeats that intensify when they’re loaded with deflected intentions manoeuvred by an ever-changing world. I skim through my day and a longing dazzles me— a longing to meet the truthful me in every moment of the day.

This softened soul speaks ever so gently, still it is a scintillating light which shivers whenever there is a looming darkness. Before sunrise, it is the perfect time. I can see how it shivers swiftly, and my whole body shakes in tears, in confusion, in how much I long for the clarity of my love.

I meant it, my dear one. I meant it when it is the dream that ignites every part of me to use this world in worship. It’s the dream to meet Him, and you, and a mirror of love in the hereafter. Without the dream, it takes time to undress all the doing which never made sense, which is not mingled with a clear-cut intention that sees God.

Your smile was enough. It will always be enough. A smile that I’d do anything to see again and again and again, infinitely. How gratitude lights your face. How love lives in you, my dear one, a work of art.

One smile was enough to make me dream again— and a softened soul melted all the barricades away. Time surrendered, it is never a burdensome variable here.

Till I live in the love of your smile.