foundations.

 I’ve been reflecting a lot upon my path from here regarding my place in the world. Though I surrender it to God and no longer plan as meticulously as I did, crafting daylight dreams so intentionally into every little moment— there resides the will to choose correctly and I’m grateful for an insight which has calmed the storms in my chest these days.

Lately, I’ve been networking with international groups, learning from their ideas and progressive views on education and reality in general. Although my mindset had exploded with new terms, a strange, unexpected notion sprang up to my heart. 

I find that without scaling up my path appropriately, I feel scattered having to commit to both local and international networks of people to communicate with. There is beauty in explorations and curiosity; yet, when it comes to action, I find wisdom in serving immediate circles of society before having to dedicate time and effort to other ways of learning and service.

Within my society, there are endless opportunities to serve with beingness, almost being an answer for someone’s prayer through God’s mercy and utmost compassion. Striving outwardly stretches this compassion so wide that I start to see myself in all of this, when it is not time.

Throughout this experience, I was triggered plenty of times. Each intervention had a fear present itself— the fear of not being good enough and the fear of attachment, which is perhaps the deepest of all.

One of the reasons I prefer not to assign my work labels and measures is that there is the risk of attachment. In this ever-fluid, expansive reality, one might best approach knowledge like a movie— to observe its engagement with variables and deem it as part of a whole, then move on to what the heart speaks of. Being a part of a body of knowledge that praises a labelled theory triggers me to attach myself to certain attitudes without paying attention to my heart’s innate wisdom, which can sometimes decide further than any theory or any method.

I enjoy experiencing new domains, but I always fall into the trap of being identified with them, which is quite obsolete. In the real world of service, there is nothing quite as application of theories. There might be an enhanced consciousness of the weaving of the theory within the fabric of reality; and as much as there is this theory, there are endless others in harmonious interplay. The more I read about progressive, complex views, the more I also find significance in traditional, simple wisdom.

Here is where I simply choose to rely upon my heart and pause commitments to formal organised efforts to advocate for certain strategies of service. I found myself praying to God, asking Him for guidance, and countlessly I return to the notion that it is all here. It is all in my heart. I need not go astray..

Alas, upon the intention of forming a graceful foundation on which a life of love and praise is to be lived, I find myself committing to the softness of my heart— its windows glazed in transparency, open to receive guidance and to refrain when there is none, to remain with the infinite source of wisdom.. Love.

Love’s ocean guides further and deeper than any intellect and any strife.