Am I Ready?

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I keep asking myself, as I am shifting towards this detrimental phase in life: am I ready?

Am I truly and wholly ready for this new set of challenges and experiences?

My heart has changed through the years. It has grown more tolerant to change; steadily and slowly. However, it seems now that it has been an exponential compounded growth that allows my heart to ask for change and set intentions to accept it willingly, with whatever bundle of newness accompanies it.

My heart is ready— truly ready. It feels safe and breathes in the possibilities, immersing deep gratitude in each and every thread of life they entail. Those possibilities are still blissful, even with the many mistakes I will make, the flaws I shall discover and explore and the choices I’ll have to make. This life is quite perplexing; for our choices change all the time. Our choices sometimes shift and transform as we do, simultaneously.

I must say I have changed; not much, but it’s evident— so evident that I can’t recognise who I am sometimes, hearing the silence of my identity. There is a shimmering balance in the background— an intention to listen to my mind but discard my ego’s demands, to respect my intuition and align my thoughts accordingly with sincere rationality.

The issue is, with change, it’s often not possible to know what to rationally expect, for it’s entirely interlaced by fate. It is when intuition speaks loudly, guiding me to take wild decisions, ones I am not used to making. I’ve never been that courageous to speak up, and I must say I’m still learning how to be brave.

Am I ready to finally turn a new page and let in more clarity, honesty and light into my life? Am I ready to stop bottling all my ideals and dreams and start actually making them come true with all of the hardship that comes with such a process?

I shall discover that perhaps my heart is ready, but the mind was never made to be ready. It was made to adapt, learn and adjust. It was made to reflect, respond and rise above adversity. Our minds are wonderfully resilient, and I am quite enthralled to embrace resilience and explore its depths. I want to know how I learn. I want to know how uneasy and turbulent this process actually is, but develop habits that make learning more like a constant state of mind, which is always evolving and changing, getting better and better.

I realised that learning is not easy. It requires humility, vulnerability and the pride to make mistakes but never judge ourselves upon them. There are costs and sacrifices but in the end, magic happens and we truly learn. We truly manifest valuable habits into our lives that change us completely.

So, am I sure that I am ready?

I never was sure. But this won’t stop me from trying. This won’t stop me from living. So let me say that yes, I am ready.

Enter: change.

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