Distractions.

I just realised that in my life, everything revolves around love. Love is the thought that greets my mind when it stops thinking all together, and it makes me smile. Like a tidal wave, it washes my soul with kindness and acceptance. It makes me need nothing more than whatever is present, which is gratifying and peaceful.

Everything revolves around the reciprocity of smiles and warm feelings, enriching my heart with a sort of joy that is inexplicable and irreplaceable. It makes it pound ecstatically, releases a shiver of excited laughs in my chest, creating this wonderful sensation of being wholly human, flaws and all. It makes me feel complete, ready to give boundlessly, because when my life revolves around love, there is truly nothing but freedom.

I realised that everything else is a distraction— paying bills, running errands and going to work and university on some days. Everything else that occurs outside the orbit is a divergence from what is real. Love to me is an unmistakable truth. It exists, in a free form, and it does not embody itself in people and things willingly. It’s inscrutably beautiful; how resilient it is, as it finds a form in the world. When I find love in my heart at certain times of the day, I know I am myself. I know that this moment is a prayer and a blessing— it brings me to a version of who I am that I cannot help but accept, leaving whatever distractions occurred behind. I forget my flaws and mistakes. I become almost free.

Love is not something I demand nor expect. I try hard to find it wherever it is, mostly in my head in the form of dreams. My surroundings are growing in distractions and there is a lack of belonging, there is a lack of safety in my little life, but I am still full of love and I don’t know why. I don’t know where I’d be if it weren’t for this glimmer of light keeping me afloat. I don’t know who I’d be without the love that fills the emptiness of my silent bed each night.

All I know is that maybe I’m confused. Maybe I don’t know how to define reality because each time I open the door and enter what should be home, I smile, seeing a warm embrace and hearing the sound of joy in the air. My fingers find themselves entwined with support and my arms are touched by a loving hug. This love keeps me going. It keeps me waking up each morning to watch the sun.

If it weren’t for love, I’d be another unconscious distraction in this world. I’d be ignorant and lost. I’m grateful that I can see love, even if it doesn’t exist so clearly.

Not only can I see love, but I feel it in all shades of truths. It is my only truth and everything else is secondary.