Recent Challenges.

I wanted to talk about challenges I’ve been facing the last couple of months. Why? Because I believe writing about it merges reality into luscious beliefs of positive outcomes, which is a therapeutic practice, isn’t it?

I’ve recently read about a concept called “amor fati”. It’s simply loving fate, with all its twists, downturns and celebrations. I experienced some sort of epiphany while reading about it, because it’s exactly what I aspire to do in my life. It’s hard, yet typically worthwhile.

So here are the challenges that will someday turn out to be blessings.

• Health— Thankfully, my health is so much better this year but it’s only because I prioritised holistic healing over anything else. I realised that the process of reclamation takes time, which made me accept not feeling well on some days. Improving my health eased anxiety and allowed joy to blossom. There is more energy to struggle and fight as well as laugh and weep. So many lessons have been learned and I’m grateful.

• Balance— Even though many people believe that balance is a virtue, I do consider it a formidable state to reach. I used to always experience some sorts of trances which required extreme states of mind. I’d either be completely happy or overly pessimistic. Therefore, considering this uncomfortable situation, I knew that balance would be a challenge for me. With time, I learned how to be more gentle and less critical. If I found myself struggling with studying on a certain night, I’d simply stop worrying and sleep well, trying hard to keep my conscious clear. I worried that I’d never be able to study well but surprisingly, the next morning would reveal that I was only stressed and wasn’t able to think straight. It always got better. The degree of balance I managed to attain allowed me to try out new things and compromise some of my ideals; this required learning how to be okay with not studying or workingbut prioritising family time instead, or even an hour of creativity. In retrospect, it’s really healing and therapeutic. I’m sure I’m going to get better at it.

• Dealing with negativity— Perhaps the most abhorrent issue I faced at work was dealing with teachers who were negative. I do not enjoy listening to passive complaints about hardships and twists of fate. Yes, I empathise, but it angers me how humans don’t realise that hardships were meant to be really challenging for a reason. I try to explain, but stop because not everyone listens. I come home feeling drained and unable to discern whether I could personally overcome my own challenges and life problems or not. Suddenly, I’m overwhelmed and feel like I’ll end up like them, which I know is not true. It was challenging to firmly believe in my own philosophies and negate what so many others believe in. However, I’m grateful that amidst this confusion, I was able to find comfort in some people’s affirmations.

• A tough financial situation— Well, I’m ashamed to actually write about this because, I’m grateful. We are so well better off; with food to eat, enough money to pay the bills and have a place to live in. Yet, because my country is experiencing a rough economical downturn, we find it difficult to cope. Also, my dad is always anxious about how we would be able to finance travel and our expenses so it had been challenging not to fall into that anxiety and find solace in gratitude. Before eating, I’d simply thank God for having a plate of food in front of me— it’s a blessing some people do not have. I’m also grateful that I was able to work and help my dad out with my fairly insignificant income. I learned a lot about being minimalistic and discovered how much lies in owning less and less.

• Time management— it was difficult at first, but with time, I managed to prioritise the different endeavours I took part in. Prioritising made everything simpler as it pushes away the guilt of having to compromise one task over the other. With the help of my beloved “forget-me-not” notebook and its to-do lists, I don’t think I recalled ever not having enough time. I believe we create time, and as humans we shouldn’t let it control us by its perceived scarcity. At this point of balance where work and rest is equally revered, one can be productive and happy.

There are some other challenges I suppose, but some are too personal to reveal, and some weren’t my own but I had to share their troublesome way of being dealt with. All in all, it wasn’t about surviving but, verily, living.

Through it all.