Daylight Dreaming.

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It’s been surreal lately; profusely perplexing and untrue. It’s difficult to discern between what’s real and what’s not.

I keep asking myself whether this state of mind I’m currently experiencing is because I have recovered from anxiety? Is it because I am mending my heart? Breaking from irrelevant attachments?

Is it what a normal life should be like?

Though it’s difficult to admit it, I think I have to. I’ve never been as happy as I am right now— which is excruciatingly confusing. I never thought I could be happy or ever attain peace-of-heart, thus to feel so at ease is quite new and dismantling— I don’t know if it’s real.

In January, I was really enraptured to the extent that my heart used to beat so fast that I’d feel quite ill and unstable, that I had to take a calming pill when it got to the point that I couldn’t breathe properly. This was inception: the beautiful kind of overwhelm when you start a new era free from limiting beliefs and habits.

Why was I so happy?
Perhaps because I saw everything connect before me in the most magical way. When 2018 started, I set an intention to help others and I got a call from a student who asked for additional lessons to help him out in English. I set a goal to free myself from anxiety, and slowly, I started to feel like worry is not necessary anymore and the things that used to pin me down before no longer seem so important.

I wanted to get more close to figuring out what I would choose for a career and I got the opportunity to become more active at work as a teacher, participating more in classes and the planning process. I got to meet an educational consultant as well as a life coach, who keep giving me insights of how their career paths look like..

All of these are just omens and I feel like it’s just too much to be true.


I keep telling myself that maybe it’s because I don’t restrain my dreams to the night. I actually dream every single minute of the day while my eyes are open and mind aware— capturing every moment as if I were in a dream, living in the present with my full potential, to make it all worthwhile in a way or another, till it becomes quite unreal all together.

I remind myself that maybe, things won’t continue to be so clairvoyant. Trials will surely come and I’ll be put through pressure, but I’m sure I’ll learn something. The past month wasn’t exactly free from hardships but I refused to be disappointed and dealt with the problem as honestly as possible, till it resolved itself and I was left unscathed.

That’s why I don’t really believe I’m not dreaming and that this is real. How did I become so positive all of a sudden? Is it the result of my patience and belief that I would reach that point someday?


I’m not sure where life will take me, but I keep praying everyday that it’s to somewhere good, not only for myself, but for others. I’ll continue dreaming by day, doing something every single day just to prove to the world that there is hope— I’m starting by smiling to strangers, saying good morning, picking flowers and decorating my room, writing, making music and being kind as much as I can..

And there’s a long way to go, but at least I’ve started.

Isn’t this how we thrive?

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