Bad Days.

I've always had a problem with bad days, which means I felt victimised by them. Every time I'd wake up feeling inherently not right, I would just instinctively know that whatever events that should occur during that day would be stressing. A few years ago, recurring bad days were a reason I actually started loathing myself, when bad things started to happen, I'd think like: "God hates me. I don't deserve this life. These things are happening to me because I'm a bad person and I deserve to be punished." I would end up crying, locking myself with thoughts full of hatred and self-doubt and it didn't exactly make the bad days stop coming, in fact, it made me more susceptible and weakened.

Somehow, this changed.

I woke up on Sunday, looked out of the window and saw gusty winds blowing with this sickening sand which suddenly made me feel dreary because I'm kind of sensitive to these kind of weather changes, and just a glimpse of a beautiful sunrise makes my day. I spent the whole morning feeling quite awful; my body ached, my thoughts were rusty and dreamless. I knew it was going to be one of those bad days but instead of mourning, I accepted my feelings and told myself to accept the bad events that should follow with kindness and forgiveness. I headed to work a little bit too early and waited for the teacher to come, but then, she didn't. Somehow, I already knew this was going to happen and I felt quite disappointed because I was to be stuck at school with absolutely nothing to do for three hours. My old self would have isolated herself and proceeded in a session of self-loathing. However, I reacted differently; I smiled and told everyone that it was okay, and that I was certainly going to find something to do. I searched the whole school for teachers who needed some help and ended up making a powerpoint presentation for a grammar class and even entered one to answer the students' questions.

To be honest, I wouldn't call it a "beautiful" day despite my productive reaction. But I managed, and not a sabotaging thought crossed my mind. In fact, I tried to learn from the twists of fate that occur too abruptly. So if you have a bad day, relax. Smile in its face and carry on; take a bath, talk to a friend and laugh about it. Do anything that clears your mind from the anxiety and stress that follow. Afterwards, you'll have created a clairvoyant platform in your mind that would be able to think effectively and develop solutions to whatever hardships you're facing. Remember that all those bad days could be memorable once you learn to deal with them with a blissful attitude, one so kind and forgiving, that you are ready to accept the most formidable issues.. and solve them with a smile, a warm heart, an entirely free soul.

Bad days will not be good days, but they can be ones you can learn from and in return, flourish and lessen their effect. This life will never be perfect and you'll mess up, a lot. There will be days, months or even years of screwed up routines, bad news after bad news, failing relationships or health. But it's okay. It's all temporary once you believe so. All in all, life itself is a provisional period of time, why make it so daunting and unbearable?

Treat the world kindly on the days when you feel that the world is so brutal to you, show life that you are more than a bunch of organic molecules but a conscience with values, with choices to make, with happiness to create. Show yourself that you can actually allow the light shining to reflect more than just your body but your potentials and strengths; draw and create, write the best melancholic poems, dream the unimaginable things, write a letter to your friend or family member, thanking them for merely existing. The world will open up to you by the kindness you portrayed, because somehow, you are more than your bad day.

There's always a next chance, and someday, it will be yours to capture.