Time, passing.

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It's already November, isn't it? Time is flying so fast now, I mean it's even ridiculous to compare it with last year's velocity. It's already Tuesday and in a couple of days I'll be having my midterm exams, wasn't it a few days before that I entered Univeristy in the first place? Wow.

Anyway, the weather had been beautiful enough to cheer me up. The clouds are starting to get puffy and picturesque, my personality fog just disappeared and I feel me again. I shall never take contraception pills, and I don't advise anyone to take them either, although it depends how sensitive you are to them, but I already know that I'm overly sensitive and that's a lesson to learn.

I've been busy studying, naturally. I don't really go out so much, I don't even have friends to hang out with, but I don't mind at all. Being too sociable actually makes me feel so restrained to agree with everyone, like sometimes I'm ashamed to be myself in front of others, and I tend to wind up the truth a bit just to please them, and that shames my conscience and leaves me feeling a bit dreary.. so yeah, I'd rather be alone reading books and writing poems and stories rather than hang out with people I have to be artificial with. And we can all agree that I love nature, and I love to be me in all ways possible. So let that be.

Oh and I never mentioned my novel here, did I? Yes, I'm writing a story called The Fullstop. I actually started it some time in June 2014, wrote a couple of chapters in April 2015 then stopped for a while to deal with my anxiety. I reached a dead point in it until I miraculously got an idea to change how everything starts so it got me going. I just LOVE writing. It soothes me, releases my tension and allows my watery resilient character to take forms of the people I create in my story. You know, sometimes I have to imagine I'm the person in order to just accurately portray every aspect of his/her personality so it sort of shifts me out of real life. Of course, writing is not easy and I'm sure my novel will turn out as a big failure and I'll be embarrassed to even publish it or send it anywhere, but it's nice to think you wrote a story, and you can tell it to your kids and grandkids in the future. I don't need to be famous for that. :)

Well, I couldn't resist the temptation to write this down even though I have a lot of things to do. It's enrapturing to be busy even though it deteriorates my mind after a while but I balance things out in the end. :) I guess I'll just live November through and update you on how it's treating me.. because this year, I just want to combat those November blues and heal for once and for all. Au revoir!

Soraya.

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