Thoughts about Friendships.

Don't you think I think too much? I just have many thoughts and I never really channeled them so efficiently, until this blog happened! I'm so grateful I could write and write, God has sincerely blessed me with this ability for I think I'd explode with all of these notions cramming in my mind. :)

Alright, I love friendships. Friends are usually very sweet and kind, and I cherish the laughter maybe not more than the tears that could ever occur during the earthly course of friendship. But.. I have a tiny problem here, because I just have high ideals when it comes to people. They need to fit me as closely as possible and understand the deepest positions of my soul. I'm a really eccentric person and I can no longer express myself within my classmates, who usually just laugh at me or never take my words seriously when I tend to be earnest. That's why I push myself away these days. I like people to accept me wholly, and listen to my ramblings, and I do not just share my ideas with anyone until they have willingly consented. I'm a bit shy, but I do recognise kindred spirits quite automatically. I can sense the tone of their voices, the colour of their heart and the spirit of their words, and I consider them as my friends after the first meeting. I actually do have a lot of faults when it comes to friendships as I believe that distant does not affect the strong bonds between people, so I could keep silence for many days or months and I might be mistaken for being rude or ignorant, but in reality I'm just being myself, and only making contact when necessary. Also, I have a habit of taking periods of quality time, where I shift away from people for a couple of days. My friends ought to endure that, and understand the fact that I'm trying to resolve the evolution of a new shell of my identity, or just to ponder about the outward world from a varying perspective, but all of a sudden I could be back to the circle, laugh and joke wholeheartedly with everyone else. It's weird, I know. Another thing is, I do not quite like texting and calling when it comes to communication. I'd warmheartedly write a five-paged hand written letter or make an arrangement to meet that particular person in a beautiful unearthly atmosphere.

I've been lonely for a long time now, and it seems to me I have stopped depending on others to channel my feelings or express my thoughts, I have learned to do that on my own, most of the times. Of course, there are moments when I'm profusely vulnerable and hurting, but still, I don't think everyone should know about those weaknesses, as it is not worth it, and only those who mean the most to you should be aware of such things like parents and siblings. Many of you may not agree, but it's been a long time since I had an intimate conversation with a friend so I might have lost the sense of warmth it might truly radiate.

Anyway, I don't know how I shall manage when I enter Univeristy and that should be in less than one week, but I've been comforted by the fact that there are many extroverted beings out there who will express themselves freely, inevitably attracting you to them. I am of course depending on those fellows, although I am sceptical and I shall make sure to make good choices as I firmly believe in the power of having beautiful kindred people around. I am blessed with this experience for I have bloomed into a entirely dispersed personage since I stuck around her, and she might be reading this post, and she is surely one of those people who can change the world. I love you.

This picture is from ohdeardrea's blog, I love her

I dedicate this post to my beautiful friends who have proved to me the glory of having a true purpose in this world and to defeat stereotypes. I owe you so much.

Soraya