a daylight dream

January is already over, peeps. The very first month of a new year. Honestly, I’m still astounded by how quickly time seems to fly and create all those wonderful memories. Such a lovely, grounding thought. The thing about time is that, it makes sense when it is encompassed by memories and moments in which you truly felt vividly alive. There is a differential significance in each passing day. So, January. Challenging yet lovely. I started my new year with the event I organised at school and it made all the difference to succeed and watch it spread inspiration like fairy dust. I can’t believe it worked, you know? I’m always so doubtful and have faith in the existence of failure, and it always chases me around wherever I go. I’m very thankful for taking the risk to actually lead a team and take my daylight dreams to the real light. January made me believe in the importance of empowering myself with those dreams of mine and doing whatever it takes to make them come true. It’s

It begins with shedding petals, And hostile winds, A tear-stained face, An echo of grief, A grey loneliness, Embracing brokenness. Tears dry, ‘Neath the sunlight, There forms, A subtle smile, But the heart is numb, It cannot truly speak, Nor love anyone, When it’s broken— A silence has begun. A silence I discover, I wrap it gently, Lay my head on its shoulder. ‘‘Tis my only company, It’s my only truth, Shouldn’t my dreams collide, And become the moon? A reality in the still skies, In a puddle, Lies a reflection of its own. And my dreams touch my skin, Set my eyes ablaze, To see colours in omens, A language to translate, I feel grief transcending, To an art and a command, A mission of beauty, As the waves caress the sand, Leaving jewels behind, In seashells,  With truth intwined. As the seashells open, And the truth reveals, Beauty becomes, A view of the unearthly. It opens a heart, To the sun

You put your head on the soft pillow, face sullen and pale, hair stiff and coarse. The room is humid and stale, its air filled with old fragrances that have lived seasons after seasons, till it had lost sense of time, something an old lady would lament about. The curtains are drawn but I know, that with just a swish, the room may come to life. So, I leave your head on the pillow, gracefully gravitated with misery and hopelessness, and I stand up, taking swift steps towards the window. As my fingers grasp the curtains, my arm moves to the side and the sight of a full-bellied moon greets our eyes. It is mildly coloured like a diamond, its light is subtle yet overflowing. And though it's dark at night, the room somehow gets illuminated by the moonlight's presence. It's enough. It's more than we could ever ask for. Your head tilts to the right and eyes gaze lovingly towards the moon. I look at you and wonder how much you still need to know about our world.

Instead of a thumping heart in your chest, there is a dear symphony of calmed quivers. Your heart is the only sound I can hear on a chilly January morning, and it's soft and slow, like a muffled dawn chorus, trilling in the background. I put my ears against your chest, magnetised by this beautiful and heavenly sound. I am gravitated towards it as my eyes force open, whilst it’s still dark and quiet. For your heart is perhaps a sanctuary of ideals, grace and support. It is a home of peace, discipline and righteousness. It is my favourite place in the entire world, to get closer to it, to even get touched by its simplicity. I close my eyes while I listen to your steady breathing, a sign of a beautiful life embodied in you. The colours sneak into the room and I smile. I lift my head to see your face, your peaceful features visible and true. And though in minutes we should be up and awake, I lay beside you, projecting myself into every single second in vivid presence, grat

Maybe I’ve tried my best to look composed and calm, making sure I was prepared for all questions with definite answers. Maybe I’ve avoided being silent in fear that I’d lose myself in a vulnerable smile that exposes my heart so trustfully and willingly. Maybe I’ve pretended to be confident and structured, just to show you what I’m striving for— the perfection I’m willing to achieve. Yet, you smile. Only that. Your eyes dance with a hope that speaks so much and I can’t help but understand it. You show me how unsure you are about certain things, show me your unanswered questions and unwritten dreams through words you utter so gracefully. Gently, you lay out the lost puzzle pieces of your visions, hoping that I’d intertwine mine with them. With the nods of my head, you can already tell how close we are in our dreams, though far in worldly dimensions. You smile even more deeply, captivating every part of me, each time we grow in touch. And somewhere in between, I become myself

A period of rampant observation struck me, as I analysed the different human happenings surround us all. I realised that all jovial, successful moments emerged from pain. All note-worthy experiences have birthed from ones that were chaotic and confusing at first. It seems that this is a universal truth. I can see this truth before me, manifested into the universe. The anticipation and darkness of night is followed by a glimmering sunrise, a birth of a child does not happen unless a mother labours in pain, we all learn and grow from mistakes and truly love when challenged and brought to our weaknesses in honest vulnerability. Pain does inflict our hearts, sometimes searingly. It cowers our potentials for a while and makes us so unsure and unstable yet, it transforms us. It transforms the universe as a whole. It brings about a potential for change and reformation— a threshold on which beauty is able to unfold and take shape. This is so beautiful to consider and to even thin

Your eyes are soft and pacifying, akin to a moon’s glow on a silent winter night, when stars appear and glisten. Your eyes are inscrutable, beautiful, meaningful. Holding much more than words could ever mean or signify. And I look into them, smiling, wondering if you could ever let that gaze go and would happen if you did. For it is an energy, a kind of eclectic gravity that binds our hearts as one. We do not say much. I probably say too much, going around in circles asking about you. But you’re still looking at me, smiling silently, confidently and carefully. And I want much more than this. I did not expect your wildfire to be so tamed and calm. I did not expect your confidence and flattering soul to hide and deeply embed itself into your heart. I didn’t expect you to look at me with such pride, such grace and appreciation. You have somehow turned some things around. Perhaps I’m not as lenient as I think I am. I’m not as reactive as I used to be. I’ve changed to domin

I apologise for not writing too much lately. I’ve been rather distracted, you know? I have so much going on in my head to the extent that writing down my thoughts gets quite chaotic and I don’t want to share such a disordered array of thoughts because, it’s not meant to prove anything in the end. 2019 is here. It sounds weird, doesn’t it? Plus, it’s another fresh page where I am going to lay out my dreams and ideals freely without constraints of past errors and mistakes. I intend, this year, to be more free. I’ve been needing that a lot lately. I always tend to put myself down with worldly goals and tokens of success when in the end, they don’t matter. Sometimes I get too carried away and take success seriously; doing what it takes to be perfect and what not. However, life means more than just that. Life is the balance acquired in between, and without it, I will be bound to lose something in the end. I know that I’ve been chasing perfection because I want to prove that I c