Posts

In The Meadows.

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It took this moment just a bend in the road, a little perfect visualisation of a road-less-travelled-by, to get to a breeze which reminded me of a fresh, mine of earth. The wind swept the sounds to my ears, rustles of leaves and stems sliding over each other, and all of a sudden, I can be true to the world; grateful and grounded, resilient to all changes. And here I can readily close my eyes to be at peace with whatever is. I can try to make intentions to be the best person I can be everyday, although it’s formidable to live up those expectations and be the ideal cloud of dreams that I carry everywhere. But all of this doesn’t matter. You’re here, carrying above you a rainbow of ideals that I love to see. Even with my eyes closed, I feel you there, your hands entwined around mine, feeling our distance multiply by halves of halves and further till we can syncopate the experience of being human together. Till we can see the exact spectrum inside of our heads — and it’s beaut...

Distanced Fields.

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In a distance that estranges, Our lively happenings, Far apart in disparate worlds, Secrets hidden for right timings, Truths kept aside in fear, The revelations of what is so dear, Entwined by some hopeful prophecy. And we plant the same seeds, Under different phases of the moon, We will grow in different shades, Of green and maroon, In some time and space, Unrecognizable eyes will meet each other, Will I know you? Will you be the anthem of your soul? This distance is ghostly, It will keep haunting me, With the poetry of you, The unearthly side I know. And perhaps that is beautiful, That I hold complexity so entrancing, Keeping you at a safe bay, But every once in a while, You will choose to stay— Won’t you? In times spent alone, You are still close, Your name spelled out in fields, My heart dearly owns. Wherever you are, That distance multiplied by half; Our coordinates on this map, Your hands wrapped around mi...

Guiltily Grateful.

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Lately, I’ve been focusing on the abundant energy in our world. I was trying to figure out how different it is from the aspect of scarcity, where everything lacks and isn’t enough. Most of us view the world in terms of how scarce resources and opportunities are and unconsciously disregard that there is another perspective so magical and ever-flowing, which is abundance . Abundance means viewing the world and your environment with the eyes that there is enough for everyone. There is enough food, air, water, opportunities, health, jobs, money, relationships— everything in general. It’s letting go of the restriction that reigns the competition nowadays and thinking in terms that growth is exponential and compounded, and you can always gain more and more if you set your mind to and go through the adversities willingly. With this mindset, for a few days, I realised how abundant blessings are. Not personally, but in the world. In our Earth. This immense energy that is withhe...

Dainty Towns: Ahlbeck, Germany.

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Here is the s econd time I go to a dainty, quiet town and slowly fall in love. Last July, on a trip to the north-west coast of Poland, we happened to stay at a town near the border of Germany called Ahlbeck. Isn’t this such an inscrutable name? I hold so much respect for towns which are named so royally. So, literally speaking, we crossed the border as casually as taking a stroll by the beach. It was a beautiful experience, and that’s why I want to document all of those magical, mystical vibes in dearest Ahlbeck. So Ahlbeck lies on the coast of the Baltic sea, touching Polish grounds immeasurably. One moment you're there and a few steps later, you're in Swinoujcie. Around this moment of transition, there's a merge of German and Polish words in the air, so it's really difficult to know where you are. I love that, actually. So, when we decided to visit Ahlbeck, we walked along the coast to this spectacular view. What mesmerised me is how the German coasts might...

Recent Happenings.

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It’s been almost a week since I’ve arrived to Poland and it feels as if I never left it. Everything is just the way it was, like I was moulded into this little town, and every shade of green doesn’t seem any different. Even the fragrance of the minty pines do not captivate me, for they linger in my nostrils, and bear cones in my lungs.   How has it been? It’s been beautiful, lately. Riding the plane was captivating, for there were Alps and fiords to see. I lost myself in that little plane window, reflecting back on how my heart felt. I also listened to podcasts and ventured deep into reasons, discovering how things work. Instead of excitement, I felt this solemn serenity that encompasses acceptance and resilience. Hope swelled within me, but it didn’t bring about all of those wonderful and high expectations. It was a different experience, I must admit. To see my sister and hold her tight in the airport was phenomenal. I just can’t believe we love each other so m...

Sunrise Stories.

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With the infinite blueness before us, enclosed within droplets of water sliding gracefully over each other, resurrecting the soul of sounds we can hear as the waves swell from below, we stand. The sounds are heavenly, expansive and therapeutic. They tempt us to have our eyes closed for a while, in contemplation. I clasp my hand to find your fingers within them, and a clench in my chest releases many oppressed shivers. I remember clasping them before, only to find a thin veil of air to hold on to, and how I wished I would find your fingers instead, for the sake of safety, of warmth, of understanding. But now they are here, for real. They are as safe as I expected them to be. In the palm of your hand lie fingers that long to be held and guided, and so you hold them close, in a silence akin to a million burning stars in distant galaxies, their light evanescent and beautiful. You don’t have to say anything, as we feel the light of the rising sun caressing the very tip of our h...

May: A Chapter Is Closed.

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  May has finally ended and I am grateful to be closing this chapter for good. I’ve reflected upon all whatever has happened thoroughly, but now I can flip the page and start a new story, discovering new aspects of life midst it all. The first and third week of May were really tough, emotionally, but I think I was just dreading my examinations as they begun, not really enjoying the process of studying things I’m not passionate about. The third week was merely me just feeling a little bit all over the place, lonely and swallowed by negative energy, due to the rather daunting atmosphere at home. I wasn’t trying to feel better or even fight it, I just let this negativity flow through me if it had to. I couldn’t really do anything about it. On the other side, there were some good days. Good days of wonderful weather and long walks around the city both in the morning and at night. There were simply beautiful moments of having iftar with my dad, gratitude soaking me comp...

Healing Plans.

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I had mixed feelings upon writing this post but I was determined to write everything out so truthfully. Other than that, I am aware that writing my plans and reiterating my journey as a human being does make people feel like they aren’t alone, if they are experiencing similar issues. Many people are, and most of them are hiding within the shadows of their struggles, ashamed to speak up. But speaking up is a part of healing, dearest ones. I must have mentioned the health issues I’ve been facing the past year— the recurring symptoms, bloating, brain fog, disrupted digestion, headaches, etc. I have literally spent every weekend researching on the causes of my problems and found a million answers, but I’m grateful for the research and this open sea of knowledge. There are more opportunities to heal in such a vast basket of probabilities. However, for months, I didn’t heal— and I tried everything. I’m pretty sure it’s my Hashimoto’s thyroiditis flaring up. My intuition ...

Sunrise Stories.

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The night in May is short and restless, very soon interrupted by a choir of birds, fluttering their light wings and melodising the lyrics of our dreams. And slowly, and quite gracefully, the sun births and sends its overarching gleams to our room, the light so swift and the colour a hopeful yellow. I wake almost so suddenly, quite surprised by the lack of darkness and the vast presence of clarity. The first thing I remember is to be grateful, for I know that the morning is always a chance to start anew and rise free from yesterday’s judgements and mistakes. It’s always an opportunity for me to be a new person, to be the hope and love that I wish could embody me and fade my humanity away, which is a disappointment, because the day brings many challenges and tribulations with it as well. However, as the sun shines and the clouds trespass it ever so gently, I’m not bothered to think about what could go wrong, but rather about the responsibility that lies within me to make it a ra...

When In Berlin.

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Hello friends! I hope you’re all okay and anticipating the summer vibes as they roll in. We have a heat wave over here so it’s important to stay safe and away from direct sunshine, but of course I don’t do that. I am obviously sunburned. Anyway, I thought I would flashback to last summer’s trips because I have been awful at those travel posts this year. The only one I wrote was when we went for a quick road trip to Sandomierz in Poland but I thought, why not document the others too?  Okay so basically, I used to be a very timid person who didn’t like travelling much but I have changed. Changed so much to tell my family that we ought to go on an independent road trip to Berlin, which was only 4 hours away from the seasides. After they found it a wonderful opportunity, I sat down for a few days planning the trip and even making my own map of all the beautiful things to see in Berlin. I was a little bit anxious because I didn’t know if it would work but the good news is, it...