Should I?

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Should I trust my heart? Especially when there's comfort surpassing its every corner? 

Should I trust love?

I realised that love, no matter how comforting it feels, is such a risky adventure. It involves a lot of compromise, a lot of things to let go. You tend to forget about yourself for a while, and do things just for the sake of love, for the sake of an emotion that fills your perception with imperfections made so beautiful and delicately flawless. Love is a dimension that doesn't involve around people, but their very own souls, and as they dig deeper into their true identities, the more intense this emotion is... because it fills them up entirely, allows them to visualise happiness in infinite measures. Oh and love, it makes us feel alive.

At the moment, my heart is beating and pumping surges of untamed love, accompanied by sudden bursts of memories that are trying to fit themselves in a puzzle piece I had started many years ago; will I ever be loved?
The answer was very distant to me. It felt far-fetched and hard to grasp, no matter how much faith I tried instilling within and the affirmations that echoed to me that yes, a day will come, and I shall be loved, so dearly. I understand that love is a fleeting sensation, as burning and powerful as it is. But I don't mind that, love is something I'd like to celebrate, even if it does not last but God, it is worthwhile. It is worth so many painful moments to endure, just to feel your cheeks flame up with happiness so boundless and untamed. It's worth it to feel trust so impenetrable, even for just a while. 

Will I ever be loved?
Yes, no matter how much hope I lose in that matter. 

Love allows me to forget my ailments and flaws for a while and makes me see myself in a reflection resonated by a light so unearthly. I don't see the bags around my eyes nor the weird proportions of my body.. but I see my smile, and your smile... and it makes me so happy. It makes me want to feel beautiful again.

It's been six years, and whenever my mind wanders away from you, you just come back as promptly.. and I see my future with you; your inscrutable eyes and ambitions not yet told. I trust my heart for those vivid visualisations you've never expected me to know about. Still, I don't think I'm ready for anything though my heart is, despite the moments of weakness and venerability. But, you've got your insecurities too. You've got those moments when you feel so inadequate and small, and I do, too. But it's when love allows us to meet, and see the completeness we don't see in ourselves, but only in each other's eyes. 

I'm really unrealistic, but you understand. You have those ideals yourself. You had dreams that felt so simple and easy to reach and I wonder what has become of them. It's been so long, and I know a lot has changed. But you haven't changed for me, my heart tells me that. Is it time for me to actually cling to my unwavering intuition?

I will tell you I'm sorry for being so young and so dependent and reigned, but you're willing to wait a thousand years. I know you will, because that kind of unspoken love we share is so loud that it shatters my ears, my senses and whole organism. 

Am I in denial? I might be. I might be a fool, caught up in a temporary dream. But a dream as recurring as this one, for six full years, is not a temporary one. 
Why shouldn't I trust my heart on this one? Especially when my whole existence inspires me to just smile and break free, for this— for you— for us.

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