a daylight dream

Before reflecting upon July's beauty, I want to thank you all for choosing this space and sharing this love. Truly, receiving your feedback and comments make my day and inspire me to write more content that you can deeply relate to, to somehow add value to your life. Thank you! Today is the last day of July, which is somehow fascinating. Time goes by so fast for the first 8 months of the year, personally. Let me emphasise a belief of mine, which states that we are all connected in a way or another. July's energy was playful and risky, wasn't it? Observing close ones around me, I noticed that we are collectively saying "yes" to more things, as a gateway towards more adventures and experiences. Perhaps some of you did not have any realistic risks, yet you may have delved into mesmerising emotions and feelings, which is counted as a risk, as well. In July, I was reborn. Truly. I may preach about the idea of letting go but this is seemingly something that I ...

Greetings, my loved ones. I wanted to update you with how things are going recently, in regards to my journey towards health and wellness, ultimately learning how to take care of my body and its beauty. I mentioned my healing plans here , but I must tell you that they have changed completely. In the middle of June, I did some blood work to see where the problem resides. I presumed that it would be my fluctuating thyroid hormone levels as well as all the other hormones I had problems with. When I got my results, I was surprised to see that my thyroid hormone levels were great, which made me relieved, because it’s so difficult to fix a raging thyroid. The problem was my progesterone. I had extremely low levels, probably the same as three years ago, even though they were better last summer. Despite the frustration, I was also relieved to know the answer and the head-start, to do it all again, perhaps with more clarity. Through my readings, I realised that many women st...

This is going to be a highly personal and rather painful reflection, but I’m going to write it down in hope that you can also relate. And you all know that my purpose is to bring to light experiences that we humans have to go through in order to break free from restraints, limitations and boundaries to truly live a meaningful, beautiful life. And little did I know that this whole beauty involved death. I might have poetically envisioned it, but I was unaware that such an experience could be real and powerful, even painful. Let me start with that late September evening last year, when I walked into my balcony to take a moment to observe my surroundings. Instantly, I noticed my geranium plants in the southern corner of the balcony with a strange hue, a rather faded complexion and structure. I looked closely and touched their leaves— They were wilting. It took me by surprise because, geraniums don’t normally wilt so early; I was even looking forward to enjoy their gre...

A few days ago, I turned twenty-one. It was an ordinary birthday, that kind of slow-weekend, where we went out to do grocery shopping for our upcoming trip and just idled around watching movies and nothing else in particular. But it’s not that what truly matters. I’m here because, on my twenty-first birthday, I felt that I was loved . It touched me deeply and all of the pain and struggle of feeling unloved just resurfaced. My heart was beating, chest clenching and I had this bizarre sensation radiating around me. It was beautiful, it was like life was proving to me that all of those fears which tell me that I am alone and totally separated from everyone I know were wrong. They were lies my ego was feeding me to hold on to my restlessness and constant strive to attain perfection. I have received many beautiful wishes from people I don’t know and ones that I do. I used to think that I was a very lonely person, but it turned out that so many kind people cared enough to sim...

light from faded beams, visit our distant eyes, illuminating our beloved sky. her touch is grace, and she topples the clouds, straight forward to our chests. and while we lay, on the soft green, we feel everything, to become one with our dreams. and everyday, we appear on silent nights, peeking gently for her light, seeing her less and less, but we remember that oneness, she blessed into our hearts, for without her, we would be spread apart. at times when we lose touch, and she is in the sky, i recall her fullness, and fading light. perhaps its within those phases, we are meant to unite, then may time pass, and unravel secrets of life. where is she? she is the moon. surprisingly, you will see her soon, adorning the sky, in darkness and in light, fearless and free, against the ordinary night. and i understand how it must be, to grow closer to her, for she captures beauty, so vivid to remember, and she w...

Just yesterday a friendly thought came to me and I was surprised at how oblivious I had been even though I am certain I was deeply aware of it before. I think sometimes, we instil ourselves with values and dreams but then go through something difficult and tend to totally forget who we were before. That’s basically something that occurred to me. Last September, remembering very vividly, I decided to step outside to the world and be perfect. I had enough of being lenient and compassionate with my flaws so I thought to change my mindset a little. It was energising and drove me into a state of unstoppable ambition which reignited hidden potentials and dreams to be translated to reality. However, trying to constantly perfect myself in terms of hard work, professionalism and attitude tapped me into the mindset of focusing on what I lacked. Every single day, I’d go out there and think deeply on my mistakes, trying not to make them happen again. The thing is, I made mistakes. Every si...

The faint light is flowing by the eastern corner of our room and my eyes meet life. I take a deep breath and look at you, sleeping, and a swelling wave of gratitude soaks me, hides deep inside of this rattling cage of a heart and never finds a way out. Slowly, I walk away, outside. My footsteps are strides, following a calming echo of the ripples embracing the banks of that little stream we adore, touching the mouldy moss surrounding it. The ripples are reflecting ethereally infinite flickers of the eastern light and they glow in my eyes, and I’m nothing but this reflection of what I see, my vision fixated on my own soul, wrinkly as the water moves back and forth. I close my eyes, and as always, I remember you . I remember you in these moments of darkness because I need your enlightenment. For a long time, I’ve lived with my whole shame and guilt put upfront, facing the world. I live a long time shying away from the truth, from my darkness and demons, and I pretend that th...

I think it’s our nature to react to things happening around us and actually  feel. Meaning, feeling daunted, joyful, anxious and thrilled according to circumstances. That’s a very ordinary human trait, which doesn’t excite me. I always tend to move away from what is ordinary and be somehow supernatural, to experience a newer and unique state of existence. It always disappoints me when I find myself reacting with rapture or melancholy because I always intend to practice a state of mind which I find so beautiful, and it’s called equanimity . The philosophy behind equanimity is to feel calm and at peace no matter what happens; this ethereal state of trust and faith that leaves you unmoved yet deeply light and grateful. I believe there is grace in that, facing all situations with ultimate acceptance and forgiveness, allowing the mind to stay present and submissive. However, I think I always fall into that hole of trying to practise it, that act of letting go, and then ...

Your value is your pain. Your value is what fixates you, what keeps you thinking day and night, trying your best to resolve your worries. Your value is what you keep pondering about, imagining, daydreaming and idealising. It’s what you envision your life to be. It’s that missing puzzle piece. Your value is when you go out there to the world to pursue it. To test your limits. To see what actually happens when you  try . Your value is when you realise that your life is a journey and as you go outside of your head and start doing the things that make meaning to you, you’ll attract the ultimate abundance you’re craving— that beautiful fulfilment, gratitude and acceptance for what is Your value is when you realise that you’re humble enough to learn and be taught as you go. Because when you’re trying for the first time, things won’t go as expected. Things will be really messy and chaotic, but your value is persevering and keeping that ideal, that solution to all what’...