a daylight dream

  I pray that the only secret I keep in the world is this pounding love within the crevices of remembrance, in the darkness of being alone, waiting for the right moment to fall asleep.   a snowflake following the other, every beat of this heart. a body that comes back home each night and remembers something sacred about being here. the variables and reasons grow in perplexity and enormity each day, which makes me want to let go and swim even more. I pray that these eyes hold something that no one could ever reveal. a sad sweetness of losing something that felt infinite just so that your life doesn’t scar its sacredness. letting it go and buying a happiness that lasts well for this lifetime, does its part and does it so well. every ounce of passion oozing into all of it till there’s not enough to drift away into what resides somewhere uncharted. these airplane rides back home remind of a bittersweet story. what would someone in my place do? would they come back or would a lasti...

golden blues tint the inside of my heart as August rolls by: the trees are painted with a faded kind of green and auburn shades, the winds are cooler in the dark mornings, when the sunlight, in peace, emerges slowly, giving us time to finally realise all this colour and all this summery life is little by little passing by. I always feel a little melancholic at that time of the year, saying goodbye to many memories and embroidering my soul with new, fresh intentions. it's okay to feel both a little longing and holding on. I am grateful to say that my longing for the newness to come is energising and fulfilling.  august was all about accepting the ordinariness of life, or at least that was my intention. it was beyond beautiful to hold on to that, since the little moments shined with so much essence. mornings were filled with tears of thankfulness and daily routines were honoured with a delightful presence. I am quite proud of myself for creating more and more habits that light up my ...

I didn’t expect to see you there— a bejewelled presence made just for my eyes. I remember gazing at you in disbelief, shaky at my loss, shaky at being so close and near to the jewel I dropped so recklessly and never looked back to. I remember how I smiled, and for a moment in that crowded room it was just you and me, an infinite future embroidered on the hems of your dreams. it was just you that night, and all faded away. your eyes pointing at me as I stepped onto that stage. and there was no goodbye, but I might have glanced at you one last time. my insides shaking, sleepless in their nights and tears I never had welled in my eyes. something hit different this time—  what was it I was longing for? take me back to that night so I’d keep that conversation a little longer for everything I know now. clean from years of saying all the words I don’t believe, clean from broken promises and blank dreams that only I had the courage to sail. clean from a love that never touched the grounds ...

  the dissonance this love leaves me in— at the edge of my longing for silence at the end of each day. you watch me sit in the loneliness of twilight, closing my eyes while the snowflakes beating against my heart settle and swim in rivers of fractured calm and unlikely peace.  I’m at the edge of enjoying it a little too much, just a footnote deeper into the letters I never sent to grief that lurk at the pools of overloaded stillness. letters I lived for for so long, a self-pitying disposition I no longer need— now there’s  you . you kept your promise when you told me you’d never leave me alone. a second too deep into my silence and you’re here with your eyes, searching for something, searching for a window into my heart. I smile back into your eyes, contemplating the newness of my compromise. a silence I know hurts both me and you, but it gives me something nothing ever gives. a glimpse of ethereal sadness that bounces back to the spheres. but I don’t need that anymore....

  finally , you whimper. gazing into my eyes that night, stars above us a frequency I'd only dreamed of. the moonlight a halo so magnetic between our hearts, every minute away from your embrace an earthquake towards the tsunamic tides. my words melt into you. those eyes I fell for eons ago. I could only breathe out, tears in my eyes, closeness a sacred prayer every breath of me makes. you hold my hand so gently, your heart racing, surrendering before me. finally , our love. there's this thing between us. a gaze that lasts a lifetime, a lyric of unkempt apologies, sighs and ' i love you 's buried deep between the bridges I burned between us. it didn't take long to hold it up again- just like that, it's here. there are red roses blooming in my cheeks, wildly scented just for you. the fragrance of longing to be loved this much, with all your strength, with the fullest moon in your heart a light that soaks me whole. our breaths coalesce and the invisible strings th...