summery intentions.

spring journeys and their echoing goodbyes bewitch me as the flame tree blossoms turn into a pale flush. the morning hours are long and supple, befriended by a balmy breeze, fragrant in pink-shower tree blooms and clouds. oh so many clouds. a romantic disposition enshrouds my heart with this kind of picturesque atmosphere. 

and now I breathe out— summer. it beams like sunlight through the clouds of this sky. filled with awe and streams of return, I feel like it’s the right time to dream it away in fluttering intentions.

I’m grateful for a job that allows me that seasonal advantage. putting aside all my worries and upsetting thoughts, I can be a little child again. despite having lots to do and plan for, it can be done playfully, in between sporadic yet frequent walks midst crowning pines and melodious willows.

here are my intentions, one by one. 

aliveness:

last summer was quite tormenting. an old self died, and the pain of it was too haunting that I could not enjoy all the aliveness abound. my intention this summer is to feel the inner, pulsating and palpable aliveness of the world, and mine. I miss enjoying the sweetness of life alongside its challenges. perhaps I am a little uncannily and deliberately a person who goes against balance by all means, exploring extremes. I am grateful to have witnessed death so soulfully that it made me reach out my hands towards life again. what a beautiful gift this life is. I pray and intend to enjoy this human vessel and all its forms through a formless love and gratitude, enveloping my heart’s sacredness.

routines:

another thing I wish to develop is a safe, exciting yet definitive routine. now that my sister has grown up, it is expected that we will be having different ways of doing things around our day. I suppose I’ll have more time for myself, which I wish to fill with ease and fruitfulness, too. morning and evening routines are one of the gifts of life that I miss, having exhausted myself at work, blending all days into one big timespan. I’m enraptured for the bicycle rides, endless walks, dreamy rainfalls and all the pleasurable times spent at home.

learning endeavours:

since I’m going to experience changes at work teaching a different age group, there’s so much for me to learn. a new curriculum, a new approach, management skills, agile leadership, some psychology and neuroscience. I have this intention to forget everything I have ever done before and start as a beginner again. that freshness of new beginnings is enticingly rejuvenating for my spirit. I discovered that I’m such a devotee of change for it renews my creativity the more I am pushed towards exploring newer perspectives. also, there’s nothing more enriching for me than to keep learning and busying my mind with notions that energise my life for there’s thing about my mind, if I don’t keep it grounded towards a goal, it brings me down terribly.

not relying on my devices:

one thing I pray to experience more often is not relying on my devices. I believe it would be beautiful to go on walks and long bike rides without having my phone all the time. what would it be like to create music in my head or even the kind of thoughts that create books instead of the ones I read? I’m already practising more of that in the bus, where I stay without my phone for more time than before to spend more time with my inner body. being plugged in all the time has made me feel more and more disconnected from the objective reality and its astounding simplicity. there’s a realness that is inequitable with what we might savour in books and even good music. I feel I need to learn not to escape reality so much just to relax— it’s all here. 

also, I noticed that I’m using my phone for almost everything. journaling. connecting to friends. photography. learning. storing information. why not appreciate other tools and their intelligence, especially ones that were crafted by humans and took a long time to design? I feel I want now to create my own notebooks and my own camera (I’m not sure how). just any way to be intimate with this world. 

deep connections:

in the end, my main intention is to feel deeply connected to everything around me. a deep appreciation, love and aliveness. this year drained me a little and I feel the need to energise myself and get back to the world with a sense of servitude and responsibility towards my life. first and foremost, I’d like to feel positively connected to my physical body, which I often think of as a burden. i hope to leave this summer with little regrets and guilt, with most mistakes forgiven and resolved.

may it be a beautiful one. a summer to remember.